"HUMAN WOMEN!"

<snip>

"Hello there. I... am Ambassador Seymour Niples, and this" he swept a hand at the band of weary travellers. "Is my loyal-" ppppUUAaarrpp!!

His eyes bugged.
No! his body had betrayed him during this potentially very important diplomatic first contact.

"...cock" said Solvay, pointing at a fat bird as it hopped past.

</snip>

The beareded man grinned as he heard the exhalation of gases from the Ambassadors posterior. His beard hid it nicely.

Then he screamed and ran at them, arms flailing.

Everyone in the group looked stunned and turned defensive suddenly.

"Humans!" Jamie yelled. "You're actually HUMANS!"

He wrapped his arms around each of the 'Dwarfers one by one, kissing them on the cheek several times. When he got to all the ladies in the group, he hugged them as well. "And women! HUMAN WOMEN!"

"Is he French?" Seymour asked himself, wondering if he should return the greeting.

Jamie returned to his place in front of the group, who were now a little less hostile. They could see the huge smile behind his beard.

Ppppparp.

"Haha, you ate the mushrooms, didn't you?" Jamie asked them all, looked around at the bushes, and darted towards one of them, ripping a handful of leaves from a branch. He was moving quite erratically, but very purposeful at the same time.

"Here, here! eat one of these each." he said, excitedly. "It'll stop Allll of the gases." he said, handing them out one by one. "I learned it from the local animals."

"Umm.. Thankyou." Seymour said, stepping forward after being nudged by Efof again. "As I was saying. I am Ambassador Seymour Niples." He announced once more.

"Ahh, yes! The Ambassador to Queen Brittany." Jamie said, bowing in a very over the top fashion in front of him, with a flourish of his leather cap and everything.

"I am Lieutenant Jamie... umm... Jamie Eastlick!" He said, obviously it had been so long since he used his last name that he had trouble remembering.

"You were on the SS Hercules?" Jay said, remembering the details of the final battle before his death. The Hercules had been part of the Vanguard attack, luring the Hymenoptera away long enough for the Blue Dwarf to get into position. "The Hercules was destroyed, how did you escape?"

"Ahhhh..." Jamie said, tapping his nose. "An Engineer never reveals his secrets!" he proclaimed.

"No." Efof said. "It's magicians don't reveal their secrets. Not engineers..."

"Oh. So it is...." Jamie said, crestfallen. He sparked up again instantly though. "In THAT case... I knew the ship was going to blow LONG before everyone else..." he said, swinging his arms wide to suggest the length of time. "I jumped into an escape pod as I had no time to tell everyone else... It was..." he said, then looked up at the sky.

"Where are my manners! Come in, come in!" he said, rushing off back to his house, leaving everyone to wonder what had just happened. Naturally, they followed.

**moments later**

"Welcome to my humble abode." Jamie said, bowing again. Around them all there was plenty of space for the group, several sofas had been constructed from wood and hay, making them all quite comfortable. There was a staircase, several doors and windows, making the place look very comfortable and homelike.

"Please, don't eat the hay..." Jamie said, though not to anyone specific. White Wolf assumed it was aimed at him, and grumbled under his breath.

"If you're hungry, I have plenty of food. Anyone want some fresh water?" He asked, disappearing into another room. There was what sounded like clinking of metal, and the turning of a tap, before he returned with enough metal tumblers of fresh looking water for everyone.

"So anyway. I got into an escape pod. It was a stasis pod." he continued, not letting anyone else speak. It had been so long since he had spoken with other humans that he had to make up for lost time.

"Just as my escape pod left the ship, it exploded. Thats when the stasis kicked in... Next thing I knew, I was here! I've been here for..." he said, tailing off.

He disappeared into another room for a moment, and came back with a piece of slate, and handed it to Seymour, as he had introduced himself as the Ambassador.

"That long." Jamie pronounced.

"Are these days? he asked. That's only a couple of months... How did you make all this..." he began, but Jamie turned the slate over in his hand, where there was another set of scratches.

"Ok, so 6 months... The question still sta-" Seymour continued, but was cut off again as Jamie made a noise and disappeared into the other room again. He came back this time with an armful of similar pieces of slate, all covered in scratch marks.

"I stopped counting after 2 years, but kept marking..."

"Wow..." was the unanymous response from the group. In front of them were 10 years worth of scratches on pieces of slate. Surprising anyone could find that much slate in a place like this.

<tag. Sorry if I missed any characters who are here. There's quite a list already!>