War...What is it good for?

"Oh, God" Seymour moaned weakly from the floor "I fink she broke by dose!"
<end snip>

This situation was giving Phil some amusing thoughts. He could easily imagine Seymours broken nose being set wrong and making him look like some loutish boxer or something and allways being upset. Phil would of course gladly offer to..re-set.. Seymours nose by twonking him in the face with a cricket bat, but would probably end up making him handsome or something.

Spying Bill the Archiver hanging around near the door,Phil went over and spoke to his named acolyte

"Bill..how are you and the rest of the survivors?"

"We are fine, and we thank you for the resuce. Myself and a few others have asked if we can stay behind once the Doombringer has arrived and wiped out your enemies..we understand it was not you who fire on our most holy ship and we wish to help you repair your blue star chariot"

"Yeah sure no problem, I'm sure that..."

Something Bill said just went click in Phil's mind..

"Doombringer?"

"Oh Yes...One of your greatest inventions. It is automatically awoken and given a target when one of our..sorry your...catherdral ships are destroyed. It is heading this way as I speak, on a ship capable of folding space, so it wont be long. The pain it will inflict on your enemies will be..simply glorious.."

The last time Phil's bowls felt this loose was when the Polymorph got on board and turned into Barney the dinosaur.

One of his inventions..There was a few possible things it could, each going up the "brown-alert" scale.

"So..er..what does the Doombringer actualy do?"

"It's a Psionic Polymorphic Assassin, capable of changing it's features to look like anyone it chooses. It's executes you in a way that, if you was alive, would be most humiliating. It tailors it's kills for each target. Even if it doesn't kill you, it will make you wish it had. Apparently, you was trying to make a working version of the Talkie Toaster that could handle bagels and ended up with the Doombringer..No one is sure how that was achieved"

The thought of being found dead & naked, painted blue with a bunch of roses sticking out of his bottom was not the way Phil wanted to go. He had to tell the others

"Guys...we have a major problem heading our way..."

<<just a quick one to help move things along..ohh err>>