Returning to the ship

When: After Jay got back to the Starbug
Where: Starbug

Seymour appeared in the doorway between the cockpit and the access gantry. “Had a good chat did you?”
“Yeah I just explained to Cass...”
“I heard, Golem, by jove. Terribly exciting, what did you gents talk about?”
“He told us to leave, I agreed. He's a reasonable creature, a real 'salt of the Earth' type of guy.”
“Oh spiffing. That was jolly reasonable of him. You should have invited him round for tea and biscuits, maybe invite him up to the Blue Dwarf for a dinner party. Maybe if we knock through decks 10-30 he can come in and have a sit down meal? As long as there's no dancing afterwards, I don't think the floors can take it.”
Jay sensed the annoyance in Seymour's voice. “Look, it's sorted. We can go back to the 'Dwarf, Holly's probably been rebooted by now so everything's worked out fine.”
“No, it's not fine. While you were having a chinwag with the stone giant out there, we've had a sex-criminal in here stinking up the place. What did you go and rescue him for? The man's stench is going to clog up the air conditioning!”
“I thought he might be useful. You know, as a guide.” Jay said.
“Hmm, not sure the girls will appreciate keeping him around as a Tomtom, don't you think he's a bit... rapey?”
“Rapey?”
“Yes, forgive me but I searched the Oxford English dictionary for a specific word to describe him and that's the most accurate I could come up with. Do you really think he'll be useful?”
“We'll just have to see.” Jay said, and entered the cockpit.

They flew back to the Blue Dwarf, and on entering the shuttlebay they noticed things were looking a little bit different. Several skutters dashed to a cupboard to get rid of the mops and brooms they were carrying.
“Oh, you're back, I was hoping to 'ave all this finished before you came back.” came a voice from the nearest computer screen.

“Holly old bean, you're back online.” Seymour said. “And you're not going to kill us or think you're the devil or anything?” He asked cautiously.
“Not sure what you're on about.” Said the digital levitating head. “I came online and saw you were off on a jolly to the planet, and this place was a mess so I got the skutters to clean up a bit. They complained a bit at first so I told them I wouldn't show them the new John Wayne movie unless they helped. They've rebuilt the Drive Room too, did you know it'd been blown up?”
“Yes Hol, and what John Wayne movie?” Cass said. “He's been dead for well over 3 million years.”

The skutters turned sharply on Holly and picked up their broom and began to smack them against his screen. Holly ignored them. “Did you know there's some large rodents living on the Promenade? They've started opening shops. And what about those lizards with the temple in the Arboretum eh?”
“Welcome to the 3 millionth century” Jay joked.

Seymour coughed for attention and pointed to the Malodorian that Whitewolf was dragging out of the Starbug in handcuffs.
“Put him in the brig” Jay ordered.
“Wait, where those evil MiniPhil clones were?” Seymour piped up.
“Oh, yeah, err, maybe not there. Just find a locked room and tie him up in there. We can interrogate him later.”

Seymour approached Holly. “Listen old bean, well done on trying to make the place all spick and span for us and everything, but is there anywhere we can sleep yet?”
“Oh you want sleeping quarters do you?”
“Yes please. Preferably somewhere better than the last few nights sleep, which include an island that tries to kill us, or sleeping in a cold dusty cargo bay next to that giant Hamster.”
He pointed at Whitewolf who grinned. “You know you like to cuddle up with me buddy!”
“Your fur is the closest thing to my favourite cashmere pillows.” Seymour said bashfully. “But I'd prefer my own bed. Is my apartment safe?”
“Err, no.” Holly said. “Unless you want to share it with one of those brown monsters.” Holly showed a picture on the screen.
“Oh yeah what are they?” Cass asked, stepping up.
“Well they evolved from a single piece of faecal matter in an unflushed toilet.” Holly said, reviewing his scanner logs.
“A poo monster?” Cass grimmaced.
“Yes, over 3 million years the bacteria evolved into a new creature that crawled out of the toilet.”
“Absolutely disgusting, who wouldn't flush the toilet after they've been.” Seymour said.
“It was the toilet in Ambassador Niples' bathroom.” Holly said.
“Wha-what? My en-suite bathroom?” Everyone laughed. “I always flush!” He looked around accusingly. “It was one of you wasn't it? Using my bathroom? Dirty!” He pointed accusing fingers around the group.

“Good news though, the O2 unit will run out in 3 days.”
“Err... how is that good news Holly? That means we'll run out of breathable air.” Said Cass.
“Well it's exceeded its warranty by 3 million years. I think that's pretty good going for something made in Taiwan.”
“Holly, YOU were made in Taiwan!”
“And look at me now!” Holly beamed.
“So we only have 3 days of air left? We'd better get cracking, we're already sharing air with stinkbags over there.”

“Are there any planets or spacestations nearby Hol, where we can get parts?”
Holly shook his digital head. “Not nearby that I can see, unless your friend can tell us a direction to go?” Holly pointed with his nose at the Malodorian.

<OOC – Could someone please interrogate the stinky rapey alien please? Does he know anywhere we could get a replacement O2 unit? Maybe he'll cooperate, maybe he'll need some coercion, or maybe he escapes? Also where are your characters going to sleep for the night, has anyone been back to their quarters to see what they're like after 3 million years? >