Scrambled.

<Snip>
“Uhh..howdy partners!”
<End Snip>

Davie continued to tread lightly while he could through the rusted promenade. Fortunately the Scutters in the theater had become quite friendly when they heard him say the word ‘Howdy’. They even saw fit to give him directions that would take him back to the stasis bay where he figured most of the humans onboard would still be. They jotted down some directions that told him to take a short cut through the promenade and he should be able to back to the bay just fine. Unfortunately, the scutters can’t write and he now seemed hopelessly lost except for a very general sense of direction. If the ship was the same as 3 million years ago he probably wouldn’t have any problem, but under circumstances, he felt up a certain creek, without a certain instrument, in a boat with a very large hole in it.

After walking for another hour or so he stopped outside a collapsing pharmacy. He leaned up against the rusted metal to check his bearings as best he could. As far as he could tell he was alone. The only thing that broke the eerie silence was the occasional creak of the stressed building structures around the promenade, and the rumble of his own stomach. He closed his eyes for a moment in thought, trying to figure out where the smeg he was on the promenade.
Suddenly the wall next to him was splattered with a stream of white phosphorus and began to melt. Davie ducked into the decaying pharmacy. He pulled the machete from the makeshift sheath at his side and peeked out. Walking up towards the chemist was a squad of three Sims, laughing evilly at the prospect of an easy kill. He center one held what looked like an exaggeratedly squarish bazookoid with two small tanks on the underside and a nozzle on the end. This was presumably the weapon that fired the white phosphorus. White phosphorus: one of the most despicable weapons ever implemented by man. A substance that sticks and burns with an intensity that can melt steel, that gnarls flesh, wood, metal, concrete, and whatever else it touches. The other two carried a heavy rifle and a large shotgun.
Davie spotted a half destroyed pair of lift doors that would serve him perfectly as an escape, save for the fact that he would have to go through the Sims to get to them. “Hehe, looks like we got ourselves another one boys!” the rifle toting one said. “Come on out and make it easy on yourself, Human!” the shot gunner shouted. “Yeah, but either way it’ll be easy for us!” the third one half-yelled, more to his comrades than to Davie. <Smeg! Think fast Davie!> he thought.
He could hear their expectant and heavy frames walking closer to the store front. They stopped about fifteen feet from it and shouted “Come on out and make it quick or it’ll hurt more!”
“Alright smeggers!! Take one more step and I’ll execute every smegging one of you!” Davie shouted angrily in back at them (although it was probably too late to impress them) as he turned and stooped over to rummage through the wreckage of the pharmacy. The Simulants burst into uncontrollable laughter. “I call that bold talk for a one eyed Human!” the rifleman shouted as Davie found the only useful thing in the pharmacy; an old, but still compressed, oxygen tank. He hauled it up onto an old bench and positioned it in front of the door. “You keep making us laugh,” chimed in the second Sim as Davie aimed the canister at the middle Sim, “and you might just stand a chance!”
Davie raised his machete into the air. “Come on boys, let’s get him and get back to the weasels.”
He swung the blade down, hacking off the canister’s nozzle. It rocketed off and collided solidly with the middle Simulant, exploding on contact. The shockwave sent the other two flying into the nearby structures, while blasting the third one’s left arms clean off and sending him sprawling into a heap of scrap metal. Davie burst out the chemist at top speed, running straight for the half open lift doors. He half- bent as he ran past the Sims, his hand outstretched, scooping up the phosphorus gun. He came to the lift doors as the two remaining Sims hauled themselves up. He looked through the door to find the lift was stuck a few feet below the doors. He jumped on top of it, an fired the phosphorus caster onto the access panel on the roof, melting a hole to lead into the elevator. “Get that smegger NOW!” the Sims shouted to each other as they took off after him.
They jumped into the through the freshly melted hole in it’s roof after Davie, thinking they knew exactly where he went. Davie took aim with one hand at the lift supports from his vantage point, hanging from the maintenance ladder built into the lift shaft. He squeezed the trigger, melting the supports and sending the Sims on a short trip to the bottom of the ship. Davie watched the lift fall for a moment, watching it plummet out of sight, before he swung himself through the doors and back into the promenade.
He looked up to see he was surrounded by a bakers dozen of Huzard warriors, all pointing their spears at him. He raised his weapon and swung it back and forth. “Come with us!” one of them demanded. Davie stared back, gripping the gun tightly, weighing his options. Behind him he heard more simulants shouting to each other one level up. Davie groaned, and laid his weapon on the floor, sliding it over to the Huzards.

Davie was being led through the atrium towards a large, important looking hut, and judging by the small crowd gathered outside something rather interesting must have been going on. As they drew nearer they shoved Davie forward, and he saw Cass walking out. “Cass!?” Davie aske, incredibly surprised to see her in this of all places, “What’s going on?”
“Shaky relation ship with the Huzards, turns out Jay is their savior, or something.”
“Jay? As in Jay Chrysler? How is he alive?”
“I’ll tell you later, he’s in there right now with Gomez, Seymour, a guy named Alex, and a very large hamster.” she said, pointing with her thumb into the hut.
“What are they doing in there?”
“Looks like you’re going to find out.” Cass said with a diminutive smile as one of the Huzards pushed him inside. Inside Davie saw Jay, and all the others standing around a container of sand. “Senor Jones!” Gomez said. “Hiya, how you doin’ Gomez? Seymour, Jay...and…others…” he said, looking at the six foot hamster. “We know each other?” Jay asked. “Uh, sort of, I was at your funeral three million years ago.”
“Ah.”
“Explain how you’re alive later, right now explain what’s going on right now.”
“This guy here,” Jay said pointing at the Huzard Chief, “wants us,” he said waved his hand at the human in the room, “to fertilize these eggs to prove we’re men, not mice. No offense Wolf.”
“I’m a *hamster* not a mouse.” He replied flatly. “Hang on, Eggs?” asked Davie. “Yeah, Cass’s eggs.”
“*Cass’s* eggs?!”
“Yeah…all ten thousand of them.”
Davie looked around. “Man this is the weirdest smegging day of my life…” he said aloud to himself.

<Tag! So how are you going to get us out of this one?>