The simulant's plan

<snippet>
“Who was that?” Said Cass.
“I've no idea.” Said Jay, rubbing his sore wrists. “I'm glad to get those cuffs off though.”
“Hmm...” Replied Cass, enigmatically, quirking a brow.
“How's he going to survive with three simulants after him?” Said Jay, wondering what the quirk meant.
“I really don't know” said Seymour, yawning. “But one thing's for sure. He's clearly bonkers.”
<end snippet>

Who: Jay, Cass, Seymour, and later Alex
Where: Shanty town, Promenade
When: After Alex rescued them

“I'd appreciate it greatly if one of you could wheel me away from this flea-ridden hellhole.” Seymour said.
“What's the rush?” Jay asked. “I think we should ask these rodents more about what's happened to the Blue Dwarf over the last 3 million years, they might have useful information.”
“No!” Seymour said. “Get me out of here now!”
“What's the rus-” Jay said but realised when he saw what Seymour was pointing at. Alex had done a U-turn and was running straight towards them, with simulants following immediately behind.

“Oh bloody idiot!” Said Jay and started pushing Seymour's shopping trolly further down the Promenade.
“Wait stop!” Said Seymour when he saw a familiar shopfront. “It's Les Niples Royale, my restaurant! Let's hide in here. There might be some leftover Cabernet Sauvignon, aged 3 million years, exquisite!”

From not far away, Chutney the weasel shouted at them. “Stop. Not go in there!” But they didn't hear, Jay was already opening the double doors.
“That where rabbits make toilet!” The weasel shouted.

A wave of round rabbit droppings the size of bowling balls spilled out through the doors and washed over Jay, Cass, Seymour, and even Alex and the Simulants. Cass' hand emerged first from the huge pile of dry spherical dung, and she helped pull out Jay and then dig out Seymour's shopping trolly.
“Oh the shame of it!” Seymour said, pushing the last piece of dung out of his cart with a cringe on his face. “Couldn't they do this in Tesco or Morrisons? You'd barely notice in there!”

They escaped while the Simulants were still buried, and ducked into another premises on the promenade. This one was familiar to Cass, although she remained quiet as they passed the pay stall and opened the door to enter.

'Flaps' the exotic nightclub wasn't quite like they remembered. The poles where 3 million years ago scantily clad dancers gyrated to a paying male audience now hung skeletons of rodents.
“Isn't this where you used to work?” Seymour pointed out to Cass. “As a whore?”
“A dancer, smeghead!” Cass said. “Erotic dancers aren't whores.”

It was then that they'd realised their mistake. Several Simulants stood up and turned around. After trying to escape the Simulants, they'd actually walked into their HQ.

The closest one picked up his gun and fired. A bolt of blue energy encapsulated them and electric sparks covered their bodies. Inside his metal cage Seymour jolted around like a pinball, whilst Cass, and Jay vibrated like sex toys.

The simulant who fired walked closer, still with his gun raised. A small blue beam still eminated from his gun.
“So, look what we've got here.” The simulant said, as his cronies giggles. “Hoo-mans! We don't like hoo-mans do we boys?” The other Simulants laughed. “While I've got you trapped in my electro-field, I'll ask you some questions...”
He pointed to a skeleton hung up on the poledancing poles. “I asked this rodents the same question, but he was too stupid, so we at him.” he pointed to another. “We asked him the same question, then ate him...” He pointed to the third skeleton. “That one we just ate. No Simulant can resist the taste of Otter!” He licked his lips.

He stepped closer and turned off the electrifying beam, but kept the gun raised as a threat he'd do it again if they moved. “Have you heard of the Main Access Key?”
Everyone shook their heads. The Simulant looked annoyed.
“That stupid AI locked down the entire ship's controls before he went loopy. Without it, this ship is just a drifting wreck, but if we could get hold of the key... we've got a big blue fortress all to ourselves!” he laughed evilly, and the other simulants joined in.
“Give up, Holly's gone insane. He could have stored it anywhere.” Said Jay.

The Simulant fired again, electrifying them all for a few seconds. “We've been searching this ship for 10 years! Our war with the Huzards, the fish people and the other monsters means slow progress. But we'll find it soon... unless you know where it is?”

It was just then that Alex entered the room with one of the vermin, but didn't notice the Simulants. “Oh there you are, this is Ottiver the Otter... he helped me escape...”

Every simulant in the room turned to look at the otter, their mouths drooling. Simulants couldn't resist otters.

Jay took the opportunity to shoot the Simlant in the chest. He staggered backwards but kept hold of the gun. He fired again, but this time it was Cass who was ready with a swift kick to his arm. The blue bolt aimed high and struck a disco ball, where the energy was reflected around the room, hitting every Simulant. They all started dancing like a 1940's jive disco.

“This place definitely won't be in the Admiral's tour.” Seymour said, as they turned to leave. But just as they did, a spear embedded itself in the wall nearest the door.
“Halt Humans!” Shouted a Huzard who had dropped to the floor behind them. They all turned to see several more ready to throw spears. “The God-King demands a sacrifice, come with us!”

<Tag – are we going to excape, or be taken to their Aztec temple like Davie was?>