Rats!

<snip>
“First things first!” said Seymour loudly “I need transport!”
His loud voice caught the attention of the keen-eared rodents, and a group scurried over hurriedly and grabbed Seymour, dragging him off into the distance.
“I say!” he yelled “Unhand me!”
Jay and Cass looked at each other and headed after them.
The rodent’s stopped outside a branch of Tesco, and placed Seymour in a shopping trolley and wheeled him back to Jay and Cass.
“..erm…” Jay said “Thank you!?”
</snip>

The fifteen or so rodents chittered loudly amongst themselves, evidently happy with Jay’s approbation; several of them even rearing up on their hind legs to paw the air, their noses twitching and beady black eyes flashing with delight
“Now see here…” Seymour started, trying to heave himself up in the battered old trolley from the uncomfortable position in which he’d been dumped
“Bam ba ba bam bam!” one of the rodents, a bipedal, waist high white rabbit, shouted back at him as it frantically jumped up and down, waving the remains of a traffic cone in the air
“I take it you can understand us?” Cass cut in, before Seymour could say anything to piss the creatures off too much “Do any of you actually speak our language?”
This was greeted with much consternation, the mob of assembled rodents chattering wildly amongst themselves, with several small fights even breaking out as the bickering became more heated; the combatants rolling around, grappling with each other on the debris strewn floor
“Are you sure they can understand us?” Jay asked with a note of incredulity creeping into his voice as the fights quickly spread into an all-out brawl, gerbils and other assorted rodents pilling in as the fracas quickly gathered intensity
“Well, they got Seymour the transport he was after…” Cass replied “But I’ve no idea what this is about - Think we should leave?”
“Definitely” Seymour snapped from the bottom of the trolley “We’ll get fleas if we stay here much longer!”
Jay shook his head
“Nah - We might offend them or something; let’s hang around and see what happens if let them scrap it out for a bit”
He turned back to watch the mass of brawling vermin with an apprehensive frown, leaving Cass, not for the first time, to steal an appraisive sideways glance at the man, drinking in his taut physique and rugged good looks
Truth be told, after the earlier action in the lift, she was all aflutter…
Jay interrupted her ruminations by abruptly turning to face her, forcing Cass to snatch her gaze away in order to save her blushes
“I’m sorry” Jay had to raise his voice above the screeching and shouting of the tussling rodents “But there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask…”
Cass glanced back at him raising her eyebrows in silent query
“I mean…” Jay began again “You’ve got to understand that it’s been about six hundred years for me, yeah?”
“Would one of you help me?” Seymour whined “Those bloody animals dumped me upside down in here, and it’s jolly uncomfortable…”
“That’s a long time” Cass nodded, ignoring him and wondering where Jay was going with this
“So don’t take this the wrong way” Jay smiled disarmingly “…but, who are you?”
“…” Cass’s mouth hung open in shock
“It’s Cassandra Jones you dolt!” Seymour snapped from the bottom of his trolley “Although you probably wouldn’t recognise her with all her clothes on. Now can you please sit me in a more dignified position and then get me away from these bloody vermin before they start picking a fight with me!”
“Baaah!” one of the animals shouted cheerfully, leaping up and down in front of them before turning to launch itself back into the fray
“Oh, right - the stripper!” Jay exclaimed, slapping a hand on his forehead “I knew I had seen you before; I just couldn’t place the face!”
Cass closed her eyes and sighed as a dog-sized chipmunk sailed clear over their heads
“Yeah…” she muttered petulantly, wishing that the ground would open up and swallow her “That’s right: The stripper…”
Happily, Jay was prevented from jamming his other foot into his mouth by a loud low blast of what sounded like a hunting horn, answered in turn from across the Promenade by others
“What the hell?” Jay asked as the brawl abruptly ceased, dust settling slowly as the vermin guiltily scrambled to look like they had all being doing something else these last few minutes
The three humans glanced around, wondering what was about to happen – or at least Cass and Jay did, Seymour just whined and moaned about not being able to see anything from the bottom of his shopping trolley
“Baaah!” one of the vermin shouted, jumping up and down pointing behind them towards a palanquin moving sedately towards them from behind the nearest of the shanty town shacks, bourn by four burly looking hamsters
“What the smeg?” Jay murmured
“I think we’re about to meet the big nobs” Cass murmured back
“What?” Seymour snapped, rattling around in the trolley in a futile effort to right himself “This won’t do! I can’t greet dignitaries like this!”
Cass scowled and moved over to help haul Seymour upright in his trolley
“Now be nice” she hissed over his effusive thanks, as the palanquin made its ponderous way around the various campfires towards them “We’re in a bloody unfriendly environment right now and these critters might be able to help – we don’t need you pissing them off!”
“Humph” Seymour huffed “I’ll have you know, I represented her majesty at the highest of levels!”
“That was smegwit Brittany, not clever Brittany” Cass snorted “Now hush - I don’t want my skin made into an attractive rug for one of these dilapidated shacks”
Seymour bristled but held his tongue while the palanquin neared; the hamsters bearing it eventually lowering it to the ground and drawing back the curtains surrounding the carriage, revealing an elderly, bespectacled and incredibly fat ferret clad in red robes
“Um… Hello?” Cass smiled
“Greetings” the elderly ferret wheezed, heaving itself off the litter, and waddling towards them with the aid of a cane “Welcome to you, you strange pink fleshy things!”
“Thanks” Cass nodded in what she hoped translated as a reverential manner “Glad to meet someone we can speak with... Can we ask who you are?”
“My name is Chutney” the old ferret wheezed “…are we are the Vermin!”
“How nice to meet you” Seymour chirped, smiling broadly “Delighted to make your acquaintance”
“We were created to serve” Chutney continued, somewhat dramatically waving his cane in the air “To serve, and obey!”
“Oh, now” Seymour cackled, rubbing his hands together “I like the sound of this!”
“Shut the smeg up Seymour” Jay hissed “Let the old ferret get on with it”
“Others of your kind have recently come to live amongst us” Chutney continued “Let us take you to them…”
“There are others here?” Cass asked surprised “How many?”
The old ferret wrinkled his nose, and looked in the air for a moment, a distant look in his eyes as he silently counted on his claws
“Bam ba ba bam bam!” several of the Vermin chattered amongst themselves
“Shhh”
“Ni”
Chutney finally looked back at the three humans
“Three?” he asked hesitantly
“Three other humans?” Jay asked
“Yes” Chutney wheezed triumphantly “Three more like you! Yes!”
“Baaah!”
“Come... let us take you to them now” the old ferret continued “We have given all that they have asked and made them as comfortable as we have been able”
“Well, this doesn’t sound too bad” Seymour smiled
“Yeah” Jay agreed “It makes a nice change to encounter a species that doesn’t immediately try to kill or eat you”
“Or both” Cass nodded

Led by Chutney on his palanquin with the assembled mob of Vermin trailing along behind, the three humans picked their way through the maze like streets of the shanty town until they eventually came to a halt in a small square
“We’re here” Chutney finally announced “Cottonballs, go and see if you can summon our guests... Let them know we have found others of their kind”
One of the burly hamsters nodded smartly and stepped off to knock on a nearby door, waiting patiently for it to be answered
“One thing I must ask” Chutney wheezed from his palanquin “We’d be grateful if you could ask your friends to try and limit their senseless killings and destruction”
Jay frowned
“What?”
“I don’t like...” Seymour started, but that was as far as he got as the door the hamster had knocked on was thrown open and out stepped a massive simulant
“These Vermin...” Cass groaned “Not very bright”

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