Brittany: Shocking!
Who: Seymour, Keto
Where: The Medibay control room
When: After the thing with the bullocks
A long thin string of drool hung from Brittany's lips as she shuffled aimlessly around the medibay's small, cramped containment facility
Occasionally, she'd stop, and turning her dead, blue eyes towards the camera in the corner of the room, she'd let out a long low moan
Seymour frowned at the monitor as Brittany stared out at him
"She can't actually see us, can she?" he asked
"Don't be such an imbecile" Keto snapped "Of course she can't; it's a one way video link, and besides: she lacks the neurological capacity for anything other than violence and the most basic functions. If she could see us, she'd be trying to eat us"
Seymour sighed
"I suppose you're no closer to finding a cure, are you?"
Keto flashed him an irritated glare
"Have you any idea how difficult it is to apply ointment to someone who is actively trying to eat you?" he hissed
"I was only asking" Seymour soothed "Don't get so defensive"
Keto gritted his teeth and let out a low snarl, his knuckles whitening as he clenched his fists down at his side
"I'm sure that you'll come up with a cure for this terrible affliction before too long" Seymour continued mildly "It's only been a couple of weeks after all, and Rome, as they say, wasn't built in a day..."
Keto fixed him with a withering stare
"Believe me Mr. Niples; I have been moving heaven and earth to cure Queen Brittany, if only to stop your intensely irritating daily visits, and get you out of my hair!"
"Good... Good..." Seymour muttered distractedly, ignoring the doctor and staring at the monitor "...What is her Royal Highness doing?"
Keto glanced back at the monitor where Brittany was staring up at the camera again
"Drooling" he snapped
"No..." Seymour started before correcting himself "Well, yes; but what's that she's holding?"
Keto looked more closely at the monitor
"Enhance 224 to 176" he murmured, causing the monitor image to freeze and zoom in on the small metallic object Brittany was holding in one of her hands
"Enhance. Stop. Move in... Stop"
"There" Seymour pointed at the screen triumphantly "She's got a ...what is that?"
"I don't know" Keto admitted with a frown "It looks like some kind of..."
The screen went suddenly blank and an alarm sounded above some distant bangs and crashes
Keto closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a deep sigh
"W... W... What's that alarm?" Seymour asked, plucking nervously at Keto's sleeve
"That's the alarm that tells us that our precious queen has just broken out of her containment facility with the security override that she has somehow managed to acquire" Keto snarled "And would you kindly keep you damned hands off me, and to yourself in future!"
"You mean she's out!?" Seymour was aghast
"Yes, she's out; and I'm going to need your help to get her back inside again!"
"What? Me!?" Seymour's voice had gone up an octave
"Yes, you" Keto replied with a tight smile
"I've got three members of my staff out in the field treating minor amputations at the moment - Ever since Castillo started hacking digits off crewmembers, we've been extremely ...shorthanded" he finished with a grimace
"Bu... B... But I'm much more a man of command, not action" Seymour started as Keto strode across the room and pulled open a small cupboard, retrieving a couple of long pointy stick-like objects and tossing one of them to Seymour
"Cattle-prods" Keto said matter-of-factly "I keep them for the more ...reluctant patients"
Seymour flicked his on, watching an arc of electricity snap across the tip of the prod
"Are you sure about this?" he asked
"Positive" Keto retorted exasperatedly "... Unless you'd rather we just kill her and then try to cure the bits that are left?"
Much as he tried, Seymour found himself unable to come up with a convincing counterargument
"Um. Yes" he replied weakly "What do we do?"
"Well..." Keto replied "You and I are going to go out into the main treatment area and use these cattle prods to herd Brittany back into the containment facility. After that, I'm going to find whoever it was who gave her the security override, and then subject them to an excruciating hour or two with this same cattle prod"
Seymour glanced at the door out into the main treatment room and licked his lips nervously
"What if she's waiting for us out there?"
Keto smiled, hit the control panel to open the door and pushed a Seymour, screaming, out through it
"That's why you're going first"
"Aaaaaaarrrrgghhh! Aaaarrgh! Argh" Seymour cried, his eyes squeezed tightly shut in fear
"Oh, do be quiet" Keto snapped, pointing over toward the corner of the room "Look she's over there...."
Seymour opened his eyes just wide enough to take in Brittany knelt on a bed astride one of the other patients, devouring the remains of the man's face, his bloody entrails gripped firmly in each of her hands
"Aaaaaaarrrrgghhh!" he screamed again in terror "Aaaarrgh!"
"Oh, for Pete's sake" Keto muttered, rolling his eyes "You've just attracted her attention"
Brittany wiped her bloody mouth and barred her teeth at the two men, letting out a long low hiss as she clambered down off the bed and shuffled over towards them
"Braiiiins" she moaned
"How predictable" Keto sighed as he flicked his cattle prod on
The two men waited while Brittany was within range and then shocked her with both cattle prods, throwing her backwards amidst a cloud of smoke
She struggled back upright almost immediately
"Oh. Shit" she groaned, rubbing her head "What happened...?"
"My Queen" Seymour cried, dropping his cattle prod and running over to crouch down next to her, clasping her hand in his "You're cured!"
Brittany looked towards him
"Seymour?" she asked
"My queen"
"Ssssseeyyyy..." Brittany's hand suddenly tightened on his, her eyes regaining their former vacant stare as the zombie nanoplague took hold again and she lunged for Seymour
"Aaaaaarrghhh!" Seymour shrieked, shaking Brittany off and stumbling backwards "Keto! Help!"
"Braiiins" Brittany moaned
Keto stepped in and shocked the queen a couple of times, finally laying her out with a third strike to the head
"Bloody hell" Seymour whimpered "I was nearly eaten by the Queen... I mean... Of course I've always privately..."
He stopped
"What?" Keto demanded
"Oh... Never mind" Seymour replied airily "Shouldn't we be getting the Queen back into the containment unit?"
Grudgingly, Keto had to agree with this, and together the two men dragged the unconscious queen across the floor into the containment chamber
"Well" Keto grunted as he pulled at one of Brittany's legs "At least we've established what the cure is"
"What's that?" Seymour gasped, as they finished dragging Brittany into the containment chamber
"A high voltage shock seemed to force the virus into remission and temporarily cure her, so I'd postulate that a correctly administered shock to the central nervous system would in all probability effect a cure"
Seymour glanced down at the slowly stirring Brittany
"How high a voltage are we talking about?"
"Hard to say" Keto stroked his beard thoughtfully "Possibly in the region of ninety to a hundred thousand volts; low ampage of course, but applied to the central nervous system; the base of the spine would probably be best; wouldn't want to boil her brain or anything"
Seymour nodded sagely in agreement
"Of course" Keto continued, "I'd need someone to help administer the treatment while I monitored the extremely sophisticated and complex medical equipment, to make sure we're curing the patient and not killing her... Would you be up for the job Seymour? As you can see we're a little short on staff at the moment"
"Yes" Seymour gulped, straightening in pride "Anything to help our Queen"
"Good man" Keto clapped him across the shoulders "I'll go get the lubricant"
"Uhh... Lubricant?" Seymour asked of Keto's retreating back
"Yes" the doctor shouted back "For the suppository"
"Sup... What!?" Seymour shrieked as Brittany slowly started heaving herself up off the floor
<tag> Seymour - How far does your love for queen and country go? Will you wrestle with a slavering zombie queen to apply a high voltage suppository in order to cure her!?</tag>