Jay's Funeral

Who: Seymour
Where: Blue Dwarf
When: Two days after Jay detonated the bomb
Things had been sombre on the Blue Dwarf since the Captain died. As the highest
ranking crewmember, Amber had put herself in charge using the title
'Acting-Captain'.
Seymour had put himself in charge of Jay's funeral, something he was arranging
right now. He stood staring at the empty coffin.
"Is there nothing we can put in here?" He asked a sheepish-looking Efof behind
him.
"Erm... nope." He said.
"Not even a finger? A toe? Anything?"
Efof shook his head. "I saw the explosion. Everything for miles was vapourised,
and then the molten lava from the planet's core would have destroyed anything
else."
Seymour rested both hands on the coffin and lowered his head. "We can't have a
funeral with an empty coffin. It's just not proper." He turned to Efof. "Go and
find something."
Efof looked confused. "Err... like what?"
"Some genetic material. Some hair, some fragments of his skin, anything!"
Seymour said, losing patience.
Efof nodded and left the room. As he did, Cassandra walked in.
"Ma'am, good to see you!" He said. "I'm glad you're here, I've got something to
tell you." He said. "I was speaking to a representative of the Windsor estate
and I've got news."
Cassandra held her breath.
"It's good news ma'am." Seymour said. "They're willing to accept you as the REAL
Queen Brittany."
Cassandra grinned and kept her relief silent.
"On one condition though..." he informed her. "You need to be Coronated again."
"Why?"
"They thought you were dead and cancelled your accounts. It's just a
technicality, they said they can do it right here onboard the Blue Dwarf if you
like?"
Cassandra nodded.
"I've got news too." She said. "I pulled some strings and I've managed to get
you your Ambassadorial Apartment back."
A tear came to Seymour's eye. He felt his scraggy beard, and looked down at the
tattered clothes he was wearing. "Well, time for a shave I suppose!"
Efof came back into the room carrying a black box.
"What on Earth is that?" Seymour said.
"It's Jay's Xbox. I thought we could put it in the coffin?"
Seymour slapped his head. "I thought I told you to get something genetic?"
"Well I found this plaster. It's got a bit of his blood on it, and a scab."
"Alright, alright." Put them both in. Seymour said.
Later that evening everyone turned up for the funeral. Almost the entire crew
were there, most of them wounded from battles with the Hymenoptera, or the
half-Hymenoptera soldiers who'd dropped dead as soon as their connection to the
hive mind was severed.
They all watched as people said kind words about Jay, and watched as a coffin
was launched into space containing Jay's Xbox and an old plaster.