Lay-ze Chrysler

A deep crunching noise rumbled into the headset microphone as it's wearer took
another bite
from the marmite sodden toast that he had been devouring. Crumbs scattering
themselves across
his t-shirt as he did so. Finishing the last bite, the toast devourer's eyes
narrowed, and he
re-adjusted the headset so that the mic was now nearer to his mouth.
"Right.." he said menacingly into it "Let's do this..."
On the large TV screen in front of him, the words "Begin Matchmaking" were
highlighted, and
a press of a green button on the hand-held controller in his hands activated the
highlighted action,
and the Xbox Infinity console began searching for a game.
Soon, the player had found himself in a "Crawl of Duty" game lobby, and it began
to populate with
other players from around the galaxy, and the game began.
Surround sound speakers around the room rumbled with explosions, and the
whistling of gun fire whizzing
past the gamers avatar in game as he puppeteered his digital self across a
desert, taking cover behind
the wing of a downed plane.
Popping up over the top, he aimed his M-16 assault rifle at a passing player,
and scored a headshot
"OW!" came the voice of the fallen player, who's gamertag was "4Arm3dL0v3rrr",
his avatar a blue, skinned, four-armed
alien over the headset. "You shot me right in the winkie!"
"Tough break, Efof" replied his digital assassin. "you can keep the bullets..."
The players avatar whirled around, switching to his rifles underslung grenade
launcher and
firing, the virtual explosion scoring another kill. He cackled maniacally as his
score
increased.
His glee didn't last for long though, as seconds later an on-screen notification
popped up informing him that
he had been knifed.
"HAHAAH!"came the voice of an 8 year old girl in the players ear. "SUCK MY
SMEGHOLE LOSER!!"
"Just you wait kid..." replied the player "Enjoy it while it lasts..."
He clicked the 'respawn' button on the screen, but instead of launching himself
back into the
fight, the screen went dark.
Moments later, the screen itself was eclipsed by a woman stepping into view,
arms folded, clutching
the TV remote.
"Aww come on, Katrina!!" Jay protested, tossing his xbox controller to the
floor. "I was about to
kill that little smegpot!"
"I don't care!" Katrina snapped. "Just because you got fired, it doesn't mean
you can spend
all day sitting on your arse, playing games and eating toast!"
Jay slumped back. He was dishevelled and unshaven, and quite frankly, looked a
mess.
It had been a few days since he was unceremoniously discharged from the Space
Corp.
Since then he and Katrina had been forced to move out of the Captains quarters,
and were now living
in Junior Officers accomodation, which, they only managed to get due to
Katrina's position as an
Engineer.
These quarters were a far cry from the Captains Apartment, or even from the
Senior Officers quarters
that Jay had inhabited in his days as Cheif Navigation officer.
His new home comprised of only a single room, most of which was taken up by a
double bed, on which Jay now
sat, with a shower cubicle and a small kitchenette coming off.
Katrina wasn't joking, she glared evilly at Jay. "I don't intend to go out to
work all day,
to subsidise your lounging around!"
Jay opened his mouth to protest but was silenced by nothing more than a
menancingly pointed finger from his girlfriend
"Have a shave, take a shower and find a job!"
"Listen" jay said "I was unfairly dismissed! I fully intend to get back my old
job!"
"And you're going to do that by playing stupid games?!"
"CRAWL OF DUTY IS NOT A STUPID GAME! IT'S A SMEGGING MASTERPIECE!" Jay shot
back.
"I don't care!" Salter snapped "I'm not having you waste away while I'm out
working - get out the and get a job!"
Jay sighed "Ok...ok.. I'll get right on it....right after I've finished this
round..."
"NOW!" bellowed Katrina.
"....I liked you better when I was your superior..." Jay whimpered, and slunk
off to the shower...