Sewing The Sneeze Of Love

Who: Jay, Harris, Justin, Dean, Phil, Mini-Phil, Micky
Where: The Drive Room
When: Few minutes after snip, once Micky has been brought back with Harris
<snippet>
Jay turned to Harris. "Go and fetch Micky." He said.
Harris blinked. "Surely you aren't going to hand him over to them are you?"
Harris questioned.
"I don't know yet." Said Jay. "What do the rest of you think?"
"I don't want any erotic dancers to be killed" Said Pancake. "That means threes
slightly less attractive girls in the universe, and slightly more ugly girls. If
anything, I want the balance tipped the other way!"
"I second that!" Said Dean, chomping on a toastie.
"I dont want the death of anyone on my conscience, either Micky's or some
dancer." Said Jay.
"Not just any dancer." Reminded Pancake. "An EROTIC dancer."
Jay sighed. "Go and bring Micky here. We have 25 minutes left to decide."
</snippet>
"It's not that I don't like you, Micky." Justin was going on. "Well, actually,
it is. But it's not like I don't value your life more than some dancer I've
never met. Actually..."
"I think he gets the point, Pancake." Jay interrupted then turned to Micky. "I
don't want the weight of anyones death on my shoulders. That's why I'm leaving
it up to you. Six months ago, I wouldn't have trusted you to decide between a
coke or milkshake with your Big-mac. But six months ago you were fifteen years
younger and seems like you were fifteen times stupider. I trust you'll make the
right choice."
Micky stood nodding, thinking hard and looking out the window at Fourth Base.
"I'll go." He said unsurely. "I mean, whoever it was that put me here, now, must
really have wanted me to. Just wish I had an explanation how and why." Then as
an afterthought. "And how I kill something that can't really be killed."
Jay signalled to one of the crew working the intercoms. "Get hold of Efof. Tell
him to have a midget ready to fly in three minutes."
Justin spluttered out the mouthful of coffee he had just taken. "THREE MINUTES?!
That means three more dead dancers. Man, that's not fair!" He had a look of
sadness on his face.
Looking round Micky realised there wasn't really anyone here that was going to
miss him. That made it a little easier on him.
"Actually, Captain, I've got a feeling it wont even take that long. If I've made
my decision, he can take me anyway."
The others looked around at each other uneasily, taking a few steps back away
from Micky.
A Brain-Monkey appeared next to him, the butt of a gun pressed firmly into the
back of his neck.
"About time," said the Zograth guard. "He's getting tired of waiting." The
monkey turned to Jay. "And seeing as YOU didn't hand him over, the demands have
not been met."
"What?" Jay asked stepping forward. "You've got him! What more do you want?!"
"The Emperor likes things doing HIS way." The Monkey pushed a pad on his left
arm and he disappeared, taking Micky with him.
Jay was left with a stunned look on his face. The Emperor of the Zograth
appeared on the main screen infront of him.
"You did not fulfil my demands, Captain. You will therefore, pay the price." The
Emperor turned to face someone off-screen. "Kill them all. Terminate any
life-forms on Fourth Base. Women, children and pets alike. As for that
disgusting mining ship, blow it to smithereens!" The communication link went
dead, and within a few seconds dozens of small craft were appearing all around
Fourth Base and Blue Dwarf.
"They are in attack positions!" Jay dashed to the window and craned his neck.
"Must be at least thirty of them. Mobilise ALL Space Eagles immediately! And for
god's sake, someone get across to fourth base and stop those things killing
everyone!"
<Tag someone!>
______________________________
Meanwhile....
"Well, Michael," The Emperor paced around Micky, stood almost half as tall in
the middle of a lap dancing club. Had the situation been any different, he would
no doubt have been holding a wad of notes in one hand, and in the other... well,
you know. "Seems like I outwitted that smart arsed bastard at the time agency!"
"The what agency?" Micky asked.
"Don't play stupid with me boy!" The Emperor let rip a huge wad of flegm as he
shouted down, almost soaking Micky through. "Potential never did like me!"
"Ohhhhhhhh!" Micky rolled his eyes. "Yeh, I remember him. Scary eyebrows, big
cloak. I think he might be a bit gay."
"Yes," The huge Ape propped himself up on his giant muscly arms and contemplated
this. "He could well be. That blonde bit around him all day, every day. If he
isn't gay, he sure has a lot of self control!" One of the Zograth guards leaned
in and cleared his throat, trying to bring the Emperor back on track. "Oh yes!
You!"
"Me?" Micky looked confused. "Why me anyway?"
"Oh, I don't know. Could have been anyone I suppose." The Emperor lost himself
in his thoughts again. The guard that reminded him last time just rolled his
eyes and signalled to the others to leave him to it, clearly knowing the Emperor
was about to embark on something long and boring. "The thing is, me and him got
on quite well. I'm not from his world, I'm from this one, but somewhere else. Or
somewhen, anyway. See, I lived for millions and millions of years..."
"Aged well," Micky added.
"Thanks. I lived so long in fact, I reached the end of time itself. Nothing
major. Was rather boring really, all dark matter and no lights. Very uneventful.
Anyway, I had a lot of time on my hands since there was nothing to do there.
Found out there was a loophole in the laws of physics. Simple, yet quite
effective. I could pretty much wander about where and when I liked, was hard
work though all that walking, thats where I got this from." He held up a small
device Micky remembered from a long time ago.
"That's a Mollopod teleportation device."
"Correct. They didn't take much bartering with, so I ended up with a huge supply
of these, and no bugger to give them to. So I went back to the end of time to
think. It's peaceful there, an Ape can get a lot of thinking done in the
blackness of timelessness." The Emperor whistled and grunted loudly. A Zograth
guard marched in obediently. "See that brain?" He asked Micky while lifting it
off the top of the monkey, which immediately started jumping around and acting
like any other unevolved chimpanzee. "That's a part of me. Place it on top of
any living creature and it instantly falls under the control of the brain."
"So that's what that guard was doing earlier!"
"Yes," he went on, lifting the brain up and slowly advancing on Micky, "that's
what he was doing! Now it's your turn!"
"Fat bloody chance!" Micky turned and bolted through the main door of the strip
club he was in, almost going tits up over the monkey now playfully bounding
around. Four guards stood around happily chatting away when he legged it past.
"After him you foolish Apes!" The Emperor demanded bounding along behind Micky
with a brain tucked under one arm.
Rosette, Rufus and a security team were being held at gunpoint by a small group
of Zograth guards, who seeing Micky leg it by turned their weapons on him.
"Smeg!" Micky shouted over the gunfire whizzing past his head.
Micky heard a scuffle as Rosette and the rest of the Blue Dwarfers being held
captive turned on the guards but didn't want to stop or even turn to look in
fear of tripping over his own feet. He got a good couple hundred metres down
what should have been bustling halls, filled with horny guys and seedy
strippers, instead all had either been captured or killed.
"BEEP! Quarantine initiated. Subject scanned and found positive." The female
voice of the Fourth Base computer echoed through the corridor, while a steel
door slid down infront of Micky.
"What?! Let me through!"
"Negative. Infectious diseases were found in your Sample. Please wait for
assistance."
"Open the door now!" Micky screamed while pounding the steel door with his
fists.
"No use trying to get out, Michael." The Emperor said from behind him, sounding
slightly out of breath. "It's just me and you."
"Actually," came another mans voice. "It's just you and him. And me!" Potential
stood to the side between the two of them. I'll have those if you don't mind,
Gerald." He reached his hand out and the brain and teleportation device that
were in the Emperors hands were now in Potentials.
"You!" The Emperor pointed at Potential with malice. "You can't do this! He gave
himself up!"
"All part of the plan, Gerald."
"Stop calling me that you pompous old fool!"
"Sorry, Emperor Gerald." Micky sniggered at this. Watching Potential and The
Emperor of the Zograth, it was clear to see they knew each other well. "No more
of this running around doing what you please, breaking every law in the book. I
used young Micky here to play you right into my hands. It wasn't him that
decided to give in, it was you."
"Wait, what?" Micky was unbelievably confused by now. "You wasted fifteen years
of my life just trying to get your old friend to come home?"
Potentian grimaced at the thought of calling The Emperor 'friend'. "I suppose,
but he is only fleeing from his punishment. There was never an intention of
bringing him home, only termination."
"Oh..." Said Micky, stunned. "So that's why you wanted me to kill him?"
A giant belly laugh broke free of Potentials mouth. "Don't be ridiculous!" He
laughed while rolling his eyes. "Do you think I'd trust a task like that to an
idiot like you? No, you are mearly transport. I've been brewing something inside
you, you see. All those different wars you've been in, the different towns,
cities, even universes! They all harbour their own little diseases. To you,
pretty much harmless, although, if I were you, the rash you are going to break
out in next week, I'd get that seen to straight away."
Micky just stood with a blank look on his face. "Huh?"
"I'll show you, hold your hand out..." Potential took out a knife and reached
for Mickys arm, which instinctively he pulled away.
"What're you doing with that thing?!"
"Blood, Michael. It carries everything I need to terminate this monster once and
for all. Although, why you had to try and kill him the first time you met is
beyond me. I only put you there to see if the first formula was correct, and you
went and pissed him off by shooting him in the back of the head!"
"You can do one! I'm not giving you any of my blood!"
While Micky and Potential were squabbling, Emperor Gerald had started walking
away, through a glowing opening in time and space. Walking everywhere was going
to be tough now that Potential had confiscated his teleporter, but it was better
than hanging around to be killed.
"No you don't!" Potential said as the portal closed up before Gerald could step
all the way through. "I've got you this time!"
The flash from the portal snapping shut made Micky wince and sneeze
involuntarily.
"Ahhhhh!" Potential sighed. "That might just be enough!"
If Micky could see things as clearly and slowly as Potential, he would have
watched billions of droplets spray out of his mouth, filling the room with what
would be to any mere human being or time agent nothing more than spit. But to a
time travelling Ape Monster named Gerald, it was the most harmful thing ever in
existence. Not knowing the true dangers of breathing in this fine, microscopic
mist, Gerald took the last breath of his life.
The Emperor stood bolt upright, aparrently choking on his own breath. "Arg...
Garble... Gluhhh!"
With one last surprised look at Micky he fell flat on his back, huge welts
appearing all over his body and pussing up. Just like the time before when Micky
had killed the Emperor another copy of him appeared, started choking and died,
with the huge horrible welts all over again.
"This may take a while." Potential told Micky as another, and another Emperor
appeared and died. "You see, you could have gone through time and space killing
every alternate Gerald that there is out there. But he has been alive for so
long and messing about inside so many different timelines it would take an
eternity! This way, is much quicker!"
Micky looked round at the dozens of giant apes lying dead and motionless,
completely identical in every aspect.
"So they are all just him?" Micky asked.
"Yes."
"Oh." Micky said plainly. "I don't get it."
Potential let out a sigh that could blow over a brick wall. "Why didn't I pick
someone smarter?" He sat down on a nearby dustbin and explained exactly what had
happened.
It turned out that the fifteen years Micky had been bouncing around from one
place to another, he wasn't there to fight or learn how to look after himself.
He was there to catch certain infections. Generally harmless, sometimes give you
a cough or cold or the shits, but never anything deadly. The combination of
fifteen years of all the different bugs from different worlds and universes made
up a concoction that was easily transmitted to Gerald, then simply passed
through his entire timeline, like a cold would pass through an office full of
people, this bug passed through a dimention full of Geralds. From one to the
next, terminating his entire existence. "I call them Time Herpes!" Potential
went on proudly. "Pretty soon, the Zograth will be no more. The hundred or so
Monkeys with giant brains running around without a leader is dangerous in itself
I suppose, but they are at least sectioned off to just the Blue Dwarf and Fourth
Base. Not really my problem, that's for your lot to deal with." Potential stood
up as though he was about to leave. "Just make sure you shoot them in the head,
alright? One of those brains could spark a whole load more trouble for me." And
with that, he was gone. No elaborate light show or glowing gateways. Just 'pop'
and he wasn't there anymore.
"Wait! What about my diseases?!" Micky called into thin air as the last of the
Geralds appeared, choked and died. "Surely you're not going to leave me to the
wrath of Dr Keto's ointment!" Everything was silent. The bodies that had
littered the corridor were quickly ageing and shrivelling to look like mummified
remains of some long dead monkeys.
The steel doors were still locked down, probably for the good of everyone else.
Potential had said he wasn't too badly contageous to anyone else, but he always
had trouble trusting anyone with eyebrows that big. It would probably be safer
to sit and wait for someone suited up to come and find him. Though how long that
would take Micky was unsure. He reported back to Jay on how to deal with the
Monkeys that were left. That The Emperor wouldn't be giving them any more
trouble (with an added probably, just so that he couldn't be to blame if he
did). And that he needed to take some time off work to see a doctor. Preferably
not one with Ointmenticidal tendancies. Jay had told him there were a lot more
than a hundred or so of the monkeys. More toward the region of seven hundred or
so. So it seemed he would be waiting a long while for someone to come and open
the quarantine.
Just as well he was locked in a section of corridor with two doors leading off
it. One was labelled 'Cleaning Store'. The other was, to Mickys delight,
labelled 'Hologirls XXX'. Micky pushed the door open to reveal a holosuite,
completely empty and ready to be dominated. He wandered in, letting the room
detect what his desires were at that moment. "Bring on the foxy boxing!"
<Tag, guys! Got a Micky waiting for uplift. Just try not to catch anything too
disfiguringly contagious!>