Cassandra: Excrement

Who: Cassandra and Alota
Where: Seymour's apartment
When: around the same time as everything else is happening
 
<ooc>
Swine flu – can't recommend the experience
Now... Where were we?
</ooc>
 
<snip>
Instantly, Cass knew that this was the very thing that might
well save her life: Van Clomp's masterpiece, The Fallen Madonna
</snip>
 
But how the hell was she going to get it out of here?
The child's ability to wormhole, teleport or whatever the
hell it was that she did, might come in useful, but she was doubtful it could
be used reliably, and besides, involving an infant in an art theft was a little
low, wasn't it?
...
Wasn't it!?
Cass guiltily pushed the thought from her mind, and stepped
back from the painting, frowning while she mulled her options over.
Broadly speaking, she figured that she could either take the
thing right now, and just hope like hell that she'd get away with it, or she
could return later after she had time to prepare, and do the job properly
Of the two options, just stealing the painting now and
making a run for it was by far the simplest, but to say that she was ill
equipped for an art theft was an understatement; although on the other hand: whatever
it was that had happened after she and the child had departed from the
promenade would in all likelihood provide her with some cover, since the security
and med teams would likely be stretched to the limit rescuing what survivors
there were after all that starbug fuel went up
Cass folded her arms, and chewed her bottom lip, examining her
options from another angle
This was, she realised, an excellent opportunity to
disappear again; after all: any one of the many blasted and burned corpses littering
the ruins of the club might well be the remains of a stowaway stripper, and she
could easily have been killed at least three times in the last couple of minutes
before she had wound up in the Ambassadors apartment, so who was to say that
she hadn't actually survived?
The only problem was that people had seen her with the
child, and once they found the infant was back in her old man's flat and the
painting was missing, some intellectual colossus would probably put two and two
together to deduce that Cass might just have been the one that had stolen it
Cass stopped at this, and frowned, wondering if she was
crediting the numpties on the ship with a little too much intelligence...?
Probably
But wasn't it worth the risk, even just to get her off the
hook with Le Souteneur?  - And how long
would it be before he started having suspicions, and began looking for her?
 
Closing her eyes, Cass sighed, and tried to calm her
thoughts. The Fallen Madonna offered more than just the chance of escaping Le
Souteneur, it offered a real chance to begin again!
Hesitantly she reached forward to touch the painting, but quickly
pulled her hand back when a soft warning beep sounded
"Huh" she muttered "Figures..."
She wasn't surprised that the picture was alarmed; it was,
after all, a priceless and irreplaceable work, so she didn't blame the
Ambassador for being every bit as anal about security as his reputation dictated
he'd likely be; which in turn raised questions about what it was that he would actually
do if he found that his painting was missing?
From everything that Cass had heard about the man, he was an
utterly preposterous, puffed up arse of a narcissist, but that didn't mean to
say that he was to be in any way underestimated; after all, if it was she who
had this painting stolen from her, the few bloody scraps of the perpetrator
that were actually identifiable would only serve as an object lesson for anyone
else foolish enough to consider the idea...
 
"Poo poo" Alota whined, toddling into the room
 "Aw crap" Cass muttered
turning to the child
"Listen" she began "When I promised to change that nappy of
yours, I wasn't seriously expecting either of us to survive the next few
minutes...."
"Want it off" Alota managed, tugging unhappily at the nappy
Cass' face softened
"Ok" she sighed "I guess it can't be all that comfortable
for you. Let's get you seen to..."
She glanced around the room trying to spot anything
resembling the usual nappy changing paraphernalia, but drew a blank; not that
she would have known what to do with it if she had seen it, but she was pretty confident
that with the right tools for the job, it couldn't be all so difficult; after
all: when you could engineer nano-plagues, nappies shouldn't hold any fear!
"I guess we had best do this in the bathroom." She smiled
grimly "Faecal matter wipes off tiles that bit easier. C'mon..."
 
 
The nappy hit the bathroom floor with a disturbing slap
"Augh" Cass dry retched as the stink rose up to hit her "I'm
not a religious person, but: Sweet mother of God child, there's something wrong
with your guts"
Alota just giggled at this and made a dash for the door
"Hold it! Back here!"
Swinging an arm around Cass caught hold of the girl before
she made it
"We need to get you cleaned up before what's smeared over your
backside gets all over your dad's pristine cream carpets"
Alota clapped her hands and giggled, trying to wriggle out
of Cassandra's grip
"Antidisestablishmentarianism!"
"Yeah, yeah. I don't suppose you've seen any wipes or
anything like that around here have you?" Cass asked, before with a gleeful
shout, Alota finally wriggled free of her grasp  
"Wait!" Cass shouted grabbing a handful of toilet roll and running
out after the girl
 
Alota didn't get far before Cass tackled her, whisked her up
off her feet, and inexpertly tried to wipe her arse, with somewhat mixed
results
"Aw, man" she moaned "it's all got matted into that rabbit
tail of yours now..."
Lowering Alota down to the floor, Cass span her around to
dab ineffectually at the mess, while the girl just wriggled and laughed
 "What's with this
rabbit tail anyway?" she asked "Hope it's not your old man's idea of a joke, Social
Services'll be wanting a word if it is... A word of advice though: Don't even
think about going into my current trade when you're older, you'll be a walking
cliché"
Cass dabbed about a bit more before she finally relented
"Ok, let's use the shower"
 
 
Firmly holding the child at arms length, Cass booted the
bathroom door closed, and let Alota drop to the floor before pacing across the
room and flicking the shower on, immediately filling the air with steam and the
sound of melodically falling water
Pulling the sleeves of her dressing gown up, Cass hauled the
shower cubicle door open, and picked Alota up to dangle her backside under the
falling water
With hindsight, she realised that she should probably have
just used a wet flannel or something, because Alota screamed with excitement,
and began kicking and wriggling with all her might, causing Cass to overbalance
in her high heels, and stumble forward into the shower, winding up with Alota sat
laughing in the shower tray, and Cass on her hands and knees in front of her,
the shower raining down, soaking her to the skin
"Smeg!" she spat, swaying upright, water sluicing in
rivulets down her face as she backed unsteadily out of the cubicle, and began struggling
to fight her way out of the soaked dressing gown
"Oh, smeg! Gun" she muttered in a panic, pulling the pistol
from her pocket "Gun gun gun..."
Letting the sodden dressing gown drop to the ground, Cass grabbed
one of the expensive hand towels and began to dry the weapon off; energy
weapons didn't really get on all that well with water, and since she had no
idea when or if she'd be able to lay her hands on another weapon like this, she
wasn't about to take any chances with this one
Alota squealed with joy and wormholed her way out of the
shower cubicle, appearing next to Cass and quickly wormholing again, dragging
Cass along with her in a fit of interdimensional giddiness
 
They materialised seconds later in what could only be
described as the interior of a wardrobe: dark, cramped, and full of clothes and
shoes
Alota giggled and disappeared into another wormhole, leaving
Cass alone in the darkness
"Aw, for smeg's sake" she groaned fumbling to push the
wardrobe door open "I hope this is still the Ambassadors apartment, I've a
painting that needs..."
"Lala la la, lala la la lalala" a woman's voice sang
`Smeg!' Cass mentally screamed, as she pushed herself back
into the corner of the wardrobe `Who the smeg is that!?'
Her mute question was answered seconds later when to Cass'
horror, Katrina Salter, fresh from a shower and wrapped in a towel pulled the
door open
 "I can explain this..."
Cass began
 
<tag Katrina>
Cass is wet from the shower, and brandishing a heavy pistol,
wearing just a pair of high heels, a spangly g-string, and a smile – what's
Katrina's reaction?
I do hope this isn't the Captains apartment they're both
in ;)
</tag>