Seymour - "Crossing the room"

Who: Seymour Niples, Wolfgang Sweetsly
Where: Parotts bar
When: After last post
<snip>
Seymour screamed as the cat's sharp teeth bore down on him. Then the feline's head stopped. It sniffed it's prey and pulled its head back in disgust.
"It doesn't like the beer!" Seymour said in relief. "Who would have though it, I've been saved by a working-class alcoholic beverage!!"
<end snip>
The cat walked off into the middle of the room, where it stopped, lifted it's back leg above it's head and started to lick itself.
"Everyone stay still and it won't get you!" Seymour shouted across the entirety of Parrotts bar, which seemed like a cavernous room at their current size. He could just see other crewmembers hiding behind stools and dropped cigarette packets along the edges of the room.
The cat jumped up onto a furry bar stool, clawed at the fabric for a few minutes, and then laid down, tucking it's head into it's curled up body and fell asleep.
"Lets get over to Jay and the Admiral, we need a plan of how to get back to our normal sizes." Seymour said. He looked up to where the cat was sleeping, it had an eye half open, watching the entire room like a high-up sentinel.
Seymour snook underneath the cat's towering perch, and under another table as cover. The cat saw nothing.
An overflowing bottle bin caused a problem for them next. At normal size, this would just be something you can move, but at their miniature scale, it was like a mountainous landscape that they had to cross.
Wolfgang pointed to a sports bag that had been positioned next to a chair. They climbed up the bag's strap all the way up to the chair's cushion, and then walked from the edge of the chair onto the table. Wolfgang walked around a half-empty bottle of wine, his distorted appearance through the transparent bottle made Seymour jump.
"Christ!" Seymour said.
"Sorry about that. Vee vill jump across to zat chair now?" Said the German.
"No it wasn't you, I just saw the type of wine they serve in here. People pay money for this? It is terrible mass-produced rubbish!"
Wolfgang jumped across to the chair arm. Seymour took one look at the distance and went back to grab onto the bottle of wine.
"There is no way I am jumping across there!" Seymour said.
"Vy not?"
"These trousers would tear. And because it's a terribly long way down!" He said, and crawled to the edge. The distance from the floor to the tabletop seemed like a mile to him.
"It is fine, vee vill count to three okay? Von, tvo, three..."
Seymour jumped and slipped off the fabric on the chair arm. He fell to the floor, screaming as he did so. Then landed on a crinkly plastic bag full of something soft. He slid off the bag and dusted himself off.
Wolfgang jumped onto the bag from above and met him on the floor.
Wolfgang turned around to make sure the cat wasn't watching.
Seymour felt a quick breeze blow his hair back, then suddenly and strangely something was standing in front of him. It was green and goddam ugly, it had a thin lizard-like face, with a flat nose, and no lips. The head was connected to a round body with chubby arms poking out of the front and a hard shell on it's back. It was dark green apart from a red streak down each side of it's neck.
It was a tortoise. And it was larger than him.
"Mr Sweetsly..." Seymour said, without taking his eyes off the creature.
Wolfgang turned around and Seymour felt the wind hit his face again and the tortoise had gone.
"Yes? Vot is eet?" Asked Wolfgang.
Seymour blinked and shook his head. "Oh... nothing."
They both walked underneath the chair where the Admiral and the Captain were.
Wolfgang saluted them both, and Seymour shook hands with the Admiral.
"It's a pleasure to see you again Admiral. I believe the last time we met was when I was Captain of the Blue Dwarf, am I right?"
"I believe so Seymour." Said Admiral Phillips. "And how is your job as an Ambassador going?"
"Well I believe it's probably on par with being an Admiral." Seymour boasted. "I get to hobnob with foreign dignitaries, and host many cocktail parties." Seymour boasted.
"Actually being an Admiral is all hard work." Said Phillips. "I'm tied to my desk most days."
"Oh what a shame!" Said Seymour with a lot of pleasure in his voice.
The Admiral frowned and looked at her feet as Seymour gloated, so he quickly changed the subject. "Wel ldone with handing the situation with the Krylons on the planet in sector 12b – those pesky robots should think twice about trying to steal our farmland."
The Admiral beamed. Her slightly wrinkled face lit up as she received praise.
"Kissass!" Said Jay from behind. Seymour looked behind the Admiral to see jay staggering about.
"Ahh, Captain, I see that you're intoxicated in some way." Seymour turned back to the Admiral. "Of course this would never have happened when I were Captain."
"Well... I'm have thought not!" Said Phillips. She turned to Jay and scolded him like a school teacher. "Captain Chrysler, I'm ashamed of you. You need to set an example to your crew!"
Jay staggered about some more, and Vanessa did her best to steady him. "Wot?!" He said in a high pitched voice. Seymour was stood behind the Admiral stickign his tongue out at him.
"Thisss isn't my fault!" Said Jay. "I jusssh had a sssshhhlight misshhap. I'm a very good Captain! Tell 'er everyone!"
Vanessa quickly piped up. "Yes ma'am, he's right. He's actually a very good Captain."
"I see." Said the middle-aged woman. "And you would be his... sister, correct?"
"Yes ma'am." Said Vanessa.
Another voice piped up in the room, a woman stepped forward. "He IS a very good Captain actually." She said.
"Oh, and who are you?" Admiral Phillips asked.
"Well I'm Jayne... I'm kinda... Jay's clone..."
"Oh lordy, is there anyone here that isn't related to him, or is this ship just one big ground for inbreeding?"
Eventually many other people spoke up and the Admiral was satisfied that Jay was in fact a great Captain. Jay looked drunkenly around the crowd and gave everyone a thumbs up. "Cheersssss everyone! I'll buy you all a beer. Oh look, there's one pint and there's enough for everyone!"
<To be continued>