The Planet Phonegra

The planet called Phonegra, was a small little world in a barren stretch of the galaxy. It orbited a small red sun at a close range, enough for boiling oceans but no more life than bacteria and protists.
The history of planet was long and confusing. Many colonization attempts had been made, but every astronaut on the surface screamed the phrase "***************ing *************!", and then died of disentry. Nobody knows why this happens, but it does anyway. Nobody has been able to understand what are saying either, as it comes out as, for an example "damn", "domt", because the sound loses quality on the radio for such loudness.
The first lifeforms evolved into people, who slowly died out when they realized how blazing it was, along with the fact that they cooked from the inside out from the sun because of the planet getting closer.
The boiling oceans cool down to ice near the bottom, and mostly are regarded as "death pits", with the largest life forms on the planet, three feet of non-photosynthetic algae attached to the ice at the bottom of the seven mile deep sea.
All in all, it was a pointless barren wasteland, but could possibly be a great mining spot. Maybe.