Key Card

Where: Engineering Who: Dewey Walsh When: Several Years Earlier
This is my first story to establish the characters. Then I'll join into the current plot. Okay?
Key Card
Dewey Walsh, a Blue Dwarf engineer, sat at the control panel programming an Ocular Orb, a small device which was programmed to survey the surfaces of planets and get a visual to go along.
"Bollocks," he muttered under his breath.
He pressed ctrl, alt, delete four times.
"Total bollocks," he said.
The Orb flashed a red light, and fell to the floor from it shelf, shattering to pieces.
"Damn you, Microsoft 19!" he screamed loudly.
He bashed the keyboard, and a small window came up saying he had fixed the problem, and it was ready to start programming.
"Smegging hell!"
He slammed his fist right through the flat screen monitor, and was immediately electrocuted.
A short, stumpy, middled aged man with fire engine red hair (obviously dyed) wobbled across the floor and into the engineering room. He saluted, and stood at attention.
"Mr. Walsh," he started, "I would like to inform you that the captain needs the Ocular Orb by tomorrow. We are heading towards a planet called 'Phonegra'."
"Well...uh..." Dewey stuttered, "it's will...er...going to be done by tomorrow.....IF YOU SMEGGING WELL HELP ME WITH IT!"
"Sorry, sir, I'm currently under order of Mr. Pancake," the man stated.
"Oh, that guy. Just leave, I'll get it done..."
The man walked to the door.
"Oh, one more thing," Dewey said, "get that dye of your hair. You look like a teenager. Or any Irish woman."
"Yes sir." He exited the room.
"Okay, back to work." He took one look at the mess. "OH, SON OF A GOIT!" He started thrashing with a screw driver at the broken pieces.
Outside, the man dangled a key card form his fingers. "Now I can get his sleeping Quarters. And his money."
A pewee stomped by, and stopped to eye the key card. "Mr. Crosser," it began in an emotionless voice, "you are in possession of another crew member's key card. Please return it to me or I will call the skutters to take it from you."
"What, those animated shoe boxes with claws? They couldn't open a door," he scoffed.
"Sir, I remind you that stealing another crew member's key card can buy you several months of quarters arrest. I am filing this in my hard drive as an attempted robbery."
"Okay." He swiped the key card through a slot on the pewee.
"Mr. Walsh, sir!" it said, in an even more emotionless voice than before, "do you have any orders?"
"Yes," Crosser said, "steal every crew member's key card! And I can have total access!"
"No sir, I remind you that stealing another crew member's key card can buy you several months of quarters arrest. I am filing this in my hard drive as an attempted robbery."
"Smeg!" Crosser groaned. Then he realized what he had done...If his superior, Dewey Walsh, was arrested, then he'd have a chance to take his position.
"Alright then...Steal everything from the captain's sleeping quarters.
"No sir. Robbing the captain gives three years in the brig. I am filing this request in my hard drive."
"Fine then. Kill the captain."
"Sir, I have identified you as Jerome Crosser, and all my crime reports on Dewey Walsh are being transfered to your file."
"What about the time he had an affair with Katrina Salter?"
"We already know that you got several skutters to carry Mr. Walsh and put him in her bed. In fact, every crime we ever thought he committed, you were responsible. I am putting you on three months of quarters arrest."
"And if I refuse?"
"We will shoot you."
"Fair enough," he sighed.
Back inside the room, Dewey was struggling put the Ocular Orb back together with glue and wire strippers.
"Cut, strip, glue, place, strip. I hate this assignment!"
It took him eight hours, but he finished it in time to eat breakfast.
He ran back to his sleeping quarters. "Wait a minute! Where's my key card?!" He ran all the way back to the lab to get it. "It's not here either!" He looked all around the lab. "Oh, ****************************************************!"
The next day, he got up, and realized he had fallen asleep in corridor Gamma 159. Dewey walked back over to the lab, and found he key card on the floor outside the door. "What's it doing here?" he muttered.
He walked into his sleeping quarters, and laid down in his bed. "Aaaahhhh," he sighed with relief.
In corner of his eye he saw the door slide open, and Crosser came in carrying a bazookoid.
"Give me your money or I'll fire!"
"Fine." Dewey threw an empty wallet to Crosser, who ran off. Before the door closed, an army of skutters and pewees zoomed past in pursuit of Crosser.
"Wait a minute! My key card was in that wallet!" He jumped up and ran after Crosser with the skutters and pewees.
One by one, the bots were destroyed by the bazookoid.
Dewey ran as fast as he could and tackled Crosser, who was destroying half the corridor by now.
"You are under arrest!" Dewey yelled, and punched Crosser across the face.
When he came to, he was laying in his very own cell on the Blue Dwarf brig with a month on his hands.