A Pancake reaction to alcohol

<snip>
"Brace for impa-!!!!" Jay tried to call out as the front of his Starbug ploughed
into the closed doors.
The force of two starbugs barging into the doors forced them inwards, letting
out a whoosh of air from the pressurized hangar.
<end snip>
Who: Justin, Callum, Chris Harris
When: After both Starbugs crashed
Where: Starbug, hangarbay
Justin woke up to find that the Starbug had imploded around him. He was covered on all sides by bits of metal. And a bit of fire.
He leaped up to escape the fire, taking off his shirt to beat it. The flames fought back but eventually died when Callum poured a can of JMC lager over the flames.
"Need a hand?" He offered to Justin. Justin took it quickly and Callum helped him out of the mess of junk that he was partially buried underneath.
"Feeling okay?" Callum asked.
"I think.... although..."
The Engineer gave Justin a look over. You look surprisingly intact... not bad considering we just crashed at high speed into the landingbay's far wall.
Justin nodded. Then he felt his head. "I dunno... I'm kinda dizzy."
"Concussion?"
Justin looked down, and picked up the can of JMC lager that was by his feet. "Maybe. But Dr Keto told me not to drink any alcohol."
"Why? What's wrong with drinking alcohol? It makes you feel great!"
"I know... but he gave me this medication. You see... something quite bad happened to me when we'd time-travelled back to the past."
"Oh?" Said Callum. "You didn't die did you, cos I can't see a 'H' on your forehead."
"Worse." Said Justin. "My penis was crushed."
Callum was silent. Then he laughed uncontrollably.
"It's not funny!" Said Justin. "It really hurts! It was crushed when this little freaking robot gave me the mother of all wedgies."
Callum laughed some more. "So what did Dr Keto say? Can he fix it? Or will you have to have a replacement. Like a holographic one or something?" He laughed some more.
Justin pouted. "Maybe I'll wait for you to die, and donate me yours. But it would be too small to attach properly."
Callum was quiet. Until the hull they were leaning against gave way, and artificial light flooded their airtight coffin. It was Chris Harris and Dr Keto.
Harris helped them out, and counted all the crewmembers who survived, and who had died. Dr Keto checked over each one.
Justin looked around, they hadn't been on the Blue Dwarf for so long that he'd forgotten what it looked like. The crew were coming off the two Starbugs and filling up the flight deck. Neither wanted to venture out of the room in case Evil Holly tried to kill them somehow.
Justin got bored so sat down and finished off the can of JMC lager. As he sipped he watched a small midget running about. He started thrusting his pelvis at some tall womans leg. "Who's that little freak?" He asked Harris who was next to him.
"Oh that's Mini-Phil." He said. "He's a security officer."
"Why is he trying to bonk everything that moves?"
"He's a pervert. He's harmless enough though. He might try to rape you, but just push him away."
"He'll do what?!"
"Oh its perfectly normal for him. We just keep him around because he's funny. I've got some mace if he won't leave you alone."
Justin watched some more as the small man pulled down his child's size pants and waved his tiny bits at Katrina Salter, who just screamed and ran away. Finally someone gave the midget a magazine with pictures of goats and he calmed down for a bit.
"Pancake!" Shouted Keto from across the room. "What is that you're drinking?"
"Lager?"
"Put it down immediately!"
"Why?"
"What did I tell you? Under no circumstances at all must you drink alcohol. It will mix with your medication and give you a bad reaction."
Justin shrugged. "Oh, fuck it." He said and carried on drinking.
"You don't understand how bad it will be for you!" Keto said.
"I feel fine. Don't worry!" Justin said. Although as he said it, he started to feel warm.
"Oh god..." Said Keto, watching him. "You don't look fine."
Justin turned around, everyone near to him was staring.
"Mate, you're glowing." Said Callum.
Justin looked down at his hand, it was emitting a fiery orange glow. The glow was more pronounced further down his body. He peered under his t-shirt and the glow was much brighter. But that wasn't the epicentre.
The part of his body that was glowing the brightest seemed to be under his trousers, as his crotch was glowing straight through his pants.
"Oh no!" He said, feeling the warmth in his crushed penis.
Tentatively (and mostly curiously) he unzipped his flies, and out came a bright jet of light.
Justin whimpered in fear of the unknown. "What's happening to me?" He called out.
"You should have listened to me." Said Keto.
The light glowed even brighter, and everyone took a step backwards from the man with the glowing crotch.
Everyone... except Mini-Phil.
Mini-Phil had been temporarily distracted by the magazine about goats, especially the centrefold spread. But then he continued on his perverted ways, and started chasing a tubby brunette with pigtails around in circles until she stopped and catapulted him off her ample boobs.
Mini-Phil flew across the landingbay towards the epicentre of the mysterious light.
"EEEEeeeEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEeee!"
Justin only noticed the figure flying towards him at the last moment and cringed, noticing the dwarf was primed ready to headbutt him in the nuts.
Something strange happened next. Instead of the two figures colliding and falling over, the smaller man disappeared after being absorbed into Justin.
The light faded instantly. Justin looked around.
"Where did he go?" He asked.
The several bystanders pointed directly at him, unsure totally with what had happened, but willing to believe their eyes.
"You... absorbed him." Said Harris.
"Very interesting." Said Keto, and got out a medical Psi-scanner to scan Pancake. "You've absorbed him into your body. Do you feel any different."
"Alright." He said. Then he noticed Katrina Salter out of the corner of his eye. "Oooh come here sexeee!" He said and started to chase her.
"Its alright, I wont hurt you. I only want to show you someeeeething. It's a bit crushed but I'm sureeee you'll likeeee it. C'mon give us a kiss. Come here sexeeeEEEeeeeEEEEEEeeeee!"
<I fancied some sillyness. tag at all?>