Chris & Micky - Tailgaiting only ends in tears....and breaks...and d

<OOC> JP between the modslayers
Who: Chris Harris, Callum Kotchanski
Where: The Starbug Chris is on
When: Just after snip
<snip>
"Actually…." Said Jay. "In the nanosecond I had just before the computer
rebooted itself, I managed to nudge us slightly in another direction. We're now
heading directly towards a landing bay."
"But the doors are shut!" Said Efof, pointing at the screen.
"Yeah, the doors are shut. Durrr!" Said Micky, jumping on the bandwagon to mock
Jays idea.
"Yes, I know!" The Captain snapped back. "But if Mk10 can open the doors in
time, we might just sail through."
"And crash on the flight deck instead of into the hull. Good plan." Said Micky.
Jay shot him a look of anger. "One thing at a time."
"Maybe Mk10 and Rosette can fill the flight deck with cushions so it's a soft
landing." Efof said hopefully. "Or balloons."
"Don't be stupid Efof. I don't think they've got enough time to blow up a
hundred or so balloons that it'd need to cushion our landing!"
"Not with that attitude!" Efof shot back.
"Chrysler to Mk10 and LaChance, Chrysler to Mk10 and LaChance. Do you read?" Jay
said through the comms.
</snip>
Chris sat in the co-pilots chair, absent mindedly playing with his hair as he looked out of the windscreen, seeing Jay's Starbug flying towards the blue dwarf's hangar bay, presumably still infected with the virus, as far as he knew. It wasn't looking hopeful. He turned to the pilot.
"See if you can get them on the emergency frequency" he said, sternly. Pressing a few buttons he contacted CK in the Engine Room.
"Do we have a tractor beam on this piece of shit?"
"Dude, we don't have running water on this piece of shit"
"Thought not"
"Harris?! Harris?!" It was Jays voice.
"Who is Harris?" Chris heard over the comms.
"Bellhorn! Shut up!" Jay blasted back.
"So-reee." A miffed sounding Micky replied.
"Harris? You there?!" Jay tried again. Chris leaned in, surprised Jay had enough wits about him to get the emrgency communications working.
"I'm here." Chris watched Jays Starbug head on a collision course with the Blue Dwarf. "What are you guys playing at?"
"There was a virus downloaded and we... erm.. did a shut down and re-start."
"This isn't windows 95 Jay! Shutting it down and restarting wont work!" Chris shouted back, getting more worried about how close Jays 'Bug was getting to the closed hangar doors.
"Jay, turn to the left" said Chris, as he sat back in his chair and took the weapons controls.
"Our Navicomp is knocked out, you retard"
"In which case, I'm very, very sorry if this goes wrong" replied Chris, aiming a few shots at the hangar doors and firing, not one of them making a dent, except one, which did a little more than dent Jay's ship, hitting the right rear leg, and taking it clean off, the leg, carried by momentum, flying straight into the front of Chris' starbug.
"Well. Shit" he muttered.
"Jesus Christ, Chris, you could've got us all killed!" yelled Jay, in a flash of fury.
"Like you're not all dead anyway?" retorted Chris, not thinking.
Back on Jays end of the comms line, the cockpit was full of panic. Micky was wiping sweat away from his brow with the one arm he was still in control of. Efof was waving all four arms and screaming like a little girl about how they were being shot at from behind.
Jay did his best to reassure Efof.
"That was just a little friendly fire that will be duly courtmarshalled for when we get back on-"
"JAY!" Micky shouted, throwing sod to the whole authority thing. "We're back!"
Jay spun round in his pilots chair and instantly hit the reverse thrusters.
"It wont stop us making contact, but maybe it will slow us down enough to survive!"
They all held on for dear life, little did they know, Chris was not so in control of the crew on his own ship...
***
"Chris, we're back online!" yelled Jay, his voice full of delight.
"Ensign, they've got their engines back online. Pull up." said Chris.
Jay's ship began to slow down in space as its crew were filled with the delight of knowing they weren't going to be deader than tanktops anytime soon. Or so they thought.
"Ensign, I said PULL UP" barked Chris. The ensign was currently snoozing in the pilots chair, apparently suffering from some form or Narcolepsy, having been drinking on duty (as per usual), or was simply at ease with the mayhem of the ship's captain and various other crewmembers dying slow painful deaths.
The ensign suddenly jerked awake, but it was far too late. The starbug ploughed into the back end of what was left of Jay's ship, the crew of both ships flung out of their chairs and onto the floor, loud echoing bangs coming from the engineering deck, the fuel lines having been severed, fuel leaking out all over Callum's best uniform, with no hope of safety or saviours, both ships were now careering towards the closed hangar bay doors.
"Chris, do you have any idea how much the fucking insurance costs on this thing?" said Jay over the comms unit.
"Yes, because you stole a large chunk of the budget from my department to pay for it" replied Chris, sternly.
The last thing anybody on either ship heard, as the radio link was terminated, having been short circuited by the fuel, was Callum yelling "Whoever's piloting, you owe me a lot of money!" and Chris' impersonation of Sir Alan Sugar, turning to the pilot and shouting "You're fired!"
Both Micky and Jays eyes widened slightly in shock as they both realised what was about to happen. The shunt from behind had just forced them faster into the hangar doors of the Blue Dwarf.
"Brace for impa-!!!!" Jay tried to call out as the front of his Starbug ploughed into the closed doors.
The force of two starbugs barging into the doors forced them inwards, letting out a whoosh of air from the pressurized hangar. Luckily for the crew involved the hangar doors had been infected with the same bacteria as Wolfgangs space suit, so didn't take much of a bash to get through.
This did mean, however, that Jays Starbug was heading on a direct course for the interior wall.
Holly had been watching, patiently, from Mickys arm the whole time. Giving all his IQ of 6000 a chance to pick up on what was happening, he acted fast.
Not giving Micky a chance, he took control of the nervous system wired into the arm he was currently in control of. Micky tried to react, but Holly was too quick. By the time Micky knew what was happening, he was just an electrical impulse at the back of his own mind.
"HOLLY!" He screamed (metaphorically) from the back of his own mind. "What the hell are you doing?!"
"I need to do this, Micky, I'm sorry" Echoed Hollys voice from all around Micky in the black void of his mind he had just been evicted to.
Holly did his best to learn the controls of this bizarre creature quickly. The remaining dregs of alcohol left in his blood system didn't help the situation, but Holly had an IQ of over 6000, he could overcome anything!
Jays life amost ran in slow motion as the cockpit window cracked for a fraction of a second, then, with the vaccum of space tugging all around them, it shattered, sending shards of glass out the hangar door. Jay felt his ears pop with such force he would have thought he had gone deaf had he had the time.
It was too late, there was already a tightening in his throat, his legs had taken off above his torso and were heading out the window, to be sucked into space. but his legs didnt keep going. Neither did his body, or his head, or his arms!
Jay looked over his shoulder to see that Micky had got a death grip on the Starbugs console with his robotic arm, and had grabbed the captains collar with his one human arm. There was something funny aboput the look on Mickys face though. Slightly vacant. Very vacant!
There was a flash of red as the nameless cabin crew was sucked past Efof, who was holding on with all four arms.
"Captain!" Jay didn't hear him. When he shouted again, Jay heard him over the whooshing.
"CAPTAIN JAY! ... SIR!... I THINK! ...I MIGHT HAVE A PLAN!
<Tag Efof!>