Seymour - "Missing Brittany"

Who: Seymour, Micky, Jayne, Lester, Wolfgang, and Winzten
Where: By the wreckage of the Blue Dwarf
When: After Lester created Winzten
Seymour picked up one end of a thick piece of bulkhead metal, with Micky at the other end, and Jayne holding a piece to Seymour's left.
"Okay, ready, lift!" Seymour ordered, and the thick piece of metal lifted up above their heads, and threw to one side.
"Phew that was heavy!" Seymour said.
"You didn't even do anything!" Said Micky. "We carried all of the weight, I could feel it!"
Seymour shrugged. "I'm a Royal Ambassador, not a workman."
He looked at what was under the piece of metal and rubbed his hands together. "Perfect!" He grinned. He dragged a chair out of the rubble. It was a bent aluminium chair from one of the coffee bars on the Promenade, hardly the expensive Baroque antique that Seymour had in his apartment, but in the 12th century it looked like a luxury item. Seymour dragged it out of the rubble and sat down. He sighed deeply and put his hands behind his head.
"Ahh, this is much better." He said, then after a moment of bliss he pointed to Micky. "You!" Fetch me a Martini."
"Excuse me?" Said Micky.
"Martini. With a dash of lemonade, it's early in the day after all. And a slice of lime if there's any left."
Micky looked around to see if he was mistaken and Seymour was actually talking else. "What am I? Your smegging slave?"
Seymour looked shocked at the outburst. "I'm a Royal Ambassador, I've been doing the skivvy work all day, and now I think it's time for a rest."
"And where would I get this drink from? It's the smegging 13th century Seymour. I've had a hard day too, I travelled to a parallel universe, then crashed in the very spaceship whose rubble you're sitting in right now!"
"You crashed in this ship?" Seymour asked, and paused. "Looks like you've got a lot of clearing up to do. Chop chop."
Micky kicked a shard of metal panelling onto the ground loudly and walked off muttering something incoherently. Seymour shouted after him.
"I'm sure Parotts bar is around here somewhere, a few bottles of something must have survived. I'll have a bottle of wine if you can find one, preferably a Chateux Blanc 2057 but these are dire circumstances, so I'll settle for a '94." He grinned and watched Micky stomp off into the distance, but turned his head around just as Micky made obscene gestures from a distance.
Lester came and sat on a crushed cargo crate opposite Seymour's chair. "So where's your baby?"
"Brittany took her to look for some nappies. Alota probably burrowed them somewhere. I'm sure they'll be back soon."
"Aren't you worried?"
"No. Of course not. Brittany seems good with her. I'm quite glad to have her off my hands for a while to he honest, the kid kept being sick on my best suits." He looked down at his suit which was now dirty from picking up pieces of debris all day. "Not that it matters right now, I look terrible. Do you think somewhere in all this debris I'll find my wardrobe with all my other best suits?"
Lester shrugged. "This ship is from a parallel universe, so that would depend on that version of Seymour being exactly the same as you."
"What? You mean to say that somewhere in another parallel universe there might be a Seymour Niples who isn't a sharp dresser like me? I respectfully disagree with that!" Seymour scoffed.
"So are you and the Queen...."
"What? You mean to say.. are we...." Seymour laughed. "No, no of course not! Strictly professional. She is the Queen of England, I am her Ambassador, there is nothing more there. Besides, the woman has all the grace and dignity of a Bulgarian prostitute bungee jumping." Seymour sighed. "I just wish... that she's act more like a 'proper' Queen and stop mucking about doing all this stripping and acting like a common tart!"
Micky walked over and thrust a glass into Seymour's hand.
"I found Parrotts bar, it's been mostly crushed by the Drive-Room, but there were a few bottles of spirits left."
"Ahh, good man!" Seymour said and drank the liquid. He instantly spat it out. "My God, this tastes like piss!"
"It is piss." Grinned Micky.
"I... I thought you said you found some spirits?"
"I did. I necked them and pissed in that. Enjoy!"
Seymour fumed as Micky walked off.
Seymour stood up and started stomping after him. "Don't you walk away from me Mister!"
Micky turned, but it wasn't to argue. "Get down." he shouted. "GET DOWN!"
And explosion ripped through the large sheet of metal they had moved a few minutes ago, and sent debris flying through the air. Seymour was covered in small pieces of shrapnel.
Another explosion struck the towering piece of the Blue Dwarf's ramscoop. It creaked as if it were about to break in half but stood firm for the moment.
Seymour and Micky ran to cover. A fragment of cargobay door standing upright like a monolith was ideal, but an explosion sent them dashing the other way. They ducked behing the back half of a Starbug that was digging into the ground, as if the Starbug itself was burrowing into the wreckage.
"Who the devil is it?" Seymour asked.
"Why don't you stick your head out and have a look!" Micky said sarcastically. "They have bazukoids though."
"Who is that possible?" Seymour said. "Unless... they're our own crew?"
Micky pointed around, the wreckage from the destroyed Blue Dwarf went for as far as they could see. "There's plenty of wreckage, someone could have found one of the missing weapons lockers, there's hundreds."
"Gosh." Said Seymour. "It must be the locals."
Micky nodded. "That's all we need. Medieval Knights with futuristic weapons."
"Actually... said Seymour. You only become a Knight if you've been Knighted by the King or Queen... although back in the 22nd Century Brittany seemed to give them out to anyone who bought her a Bacardi Breezer."
There was a shout from Lester a few metres away. He'd managed to find some weapons and was waving them to come over. Micky took one step out of the cover of the Starbug's back-end and almost had his head blown off.
"We need to get over there." He said.
< Tag guys, we're under attack by the Sheriff's men! >