Parrots

It had been an interesting couple first couple of days on Blue Dwarf for Joe
Schweeble, he'd been nearly trampled to death, seen a brutal death of a pink
tree, and nearly been blown up along with the rest of the ship.
Now all Joe wanted to do was go and get changed and then go to 'Parrots' for
a drink or two.
He entered his quarters and opened his locker, when he heard a strange
noise, a drilling kind of noise. It was coming from the toilet area.
He went in and the strange robot that fixed the engines was doing something
to his toilet.
"Ah, excuse me sir, but i was just passing and noticed flames coming out of
your loo" the robot said, "Anyway, i've fixed that for you now"
And then it trundled off again, but again Joe noticed an evil glint is his
eye.
About an hour and several alcholic beverages after Joe was sitting in
'Parrots' feeling very drunk. He saw Jacob stone sitting at one end of bar
and walked over.
"Hi Jacob"Joe said, and then sprayed him with some garlic oil that he
happened to have in his pocket.
"What the hell did you do that for?"Jacob demanded.
"Oh, ermmm, shorry, i wash jusht teshting a theory, It'sh ok, your not a
vampire."
He had to think of a way out of this awkward situation, and quickly.
Nobody was on the stage and Joe saw his chance, he ran...well ok, he
stumbled up to the stage and grabbed the mike.
"Here'sh one a wrote myshelf" Joe shouted into the mike.
and then proceeded to sing in a key that i don't think has even been
invented yet.
"Ooooh baby, yeah, you make me feel sho good, oooh, my darlin' i love
youuuu, you make my heart pump yeah, ohhh, and i feel all shquishy inshide,
ooohhhaaarggghhh" it was at that point that somebody threw a large chair at
Joe, it hit him in the head and he went down hard.
He woke up several hours later in his bunk with a bandage round his head.
"What a day" Joe thought and fell asleep.
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