Jay:- Enter Captain Calm.

Who:- Jay
Where:- His quarters
 
“Katrina!” Jay yelled as he entered their shared quarters “I’m home”. Katrina didn’t respond, Jay could hear the shower running so he assumed she just couldn’t hear him. He grabbed a beer from the fridge and went through to the lounge, slumping back in the couch and popping the lid off the bottle against the corner of the coffee table. He’d just finished work after a 16 hour day. He’d started at 6am He was meant to come off duty, and hand over command to Phil six hours ago, but all this trouble with the Mollopods, and now the Hymenoptera transmission had kept him there all day. In the end, he’d had to be relieved from duty by Doctor Keto, who as the Chief Medical Officer was the only person aboard who could do so. Of course, when Phil had first suggested this to Keto, the Doctor’s intial response was “Let the idiot collapse from exhaustion. At least then he’ll be unconscious when I have to see him”  Phil had then had to remind the doctor that, as executive officer, he was responsible for assigning crew accommodation, and if Keto didn’t do as asked, he’d assign him new quarters, sharing with Mini-Phil. Keto had never been seen to move so fast.
 
Reluctant as he was to leave the bridge, Jay was glad he had done so when he took his first gulp of the ice cold beer and pointed the TV remote at the wall mounted flat-screen, he felt his entire body sink into the cushions, and as he put his feet up on the coffee table he felt ultimate relaxation. This was made all the better when Katrina entered the room, wearing only a towel and snuggled up next to him on the sofa.
“Rough day hun?” she asked
“Nothing I couldn’t handle” Jay sighed, throwing an arm around the soaking wet ensign next to him. “And certainly nothing getting drunk can’t fix…how about yo….”
Jay was cut off mid sentence, as was the norm, by the bleeping sound of the ship’s comm. “Jay?” came Phils voice over the loudspeaker “We have a problem…can you come to the drive room?”"For smeg's sake Phil, you practically kicked me out the door not half an hour ago and now you want me back? Make up your sodding mind!""I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important.."Jay sighed. "I know. On my way..."He turned to Katrina. "Sorry babe. Duty calls..." he kissed her then finished his beer in one, before slamming the bottle down on the coffee table and getting to his feet. "Duty always fucking calls..." he muttered as he stormed out the door. He hurried toward the drive room as the Red Alert alarm sounded throughout the ship
<paraphrased snip just to make the posts make more sense!>
"Captain!" Shouted Janis Cooper, a technician who had been drafted into the Drive-Room  to help out whilst other crewmembers were on the planet as Jay arrived. She was looking at a computer screen showing all ships in the area."There's a Hymenoptera ship approaching!" She cried."Is it going to attack us?" Jay asked in reply."No... it's ignoring us" Phil said "And opening fire on the Mollopod planet."
<end paraphrased snip!>
"WELL OPEN FIRE DAMMIT!" Jay yelled when noone did anything for a few seconds."We can't Jay!" Mk.10 said "Weapons are offline!""Why are the weapons offline?!""I don't know!" Mk.10 replied "I'm firing but I'm just getting a clicking noise!"Jay snatched the microphone from the communications officers hand "Engineering this is the Captain!" he bellowed into it. "Why in smeg's name do I have no weapons when the Hymie's are outside!!""Jay, this is Katrina!" came the reply "I came here when the red alert went up, Weapons have been down since the power conduit was stolen, we've had to shut down all non-essential systems!""Weapons aren't non-essential systems! Who gave you the authority to shut them down?""Callum did hun...er, I mean sir..." Katrina said, remembering she was at work."Tell him he's an idiot""Will do, anything else?""GET THE SMEGGING WEAPONS ONLINE FOR FUCK'S SAKE, SALTER!""....I'll do my best sir...." came the curt response."Ooo...." said Phil "That's gonna cost ya when you get home tonight!" "Did I ask for your opinion, FeBuggure?" Jay snapped, whirling around to face Phil, who silenced himself. Jay was clearly in no mood for jokes. "Weapons are back online sir.." Mk.10 said "Opening fire...wait...""What is it?" Phil asked, as he and Jay dashed over to his console.An intense beam of energy shot up from the planet's surface, searing into the Hymenoptera ship's hull, and tearing it open. The bean cut along the length of the ship until it reached the engines, which ignited, exploding and sending white hot debris in all directions."What was that?" Jay asked."It came from the Mollopods. I'm picking up a massive weapon signature...it's currently reloading...""What else do they have to fire at?" Phil asked.Jay looked at Phil.Phil looked at Mk.10Mk.10 looked at Jay."They've retargeted the weapon sir...at us..."
<tag, what next?>