Seymour+Lester "The TransMed Armadillo"

Who: Seymour, Lester, Queen Brittany, Dai, SNIDE
<snip>
"It's a 14ft Armadillo, isn't it?" Dai said wonderingly, his hand
straying to his tool belt.
"Crunchy on the outside, smooth on the inside!" Lester yelled and
then fainted again.
"HE'S your army?" Queen Brittany sneered at Seymour.
"No..." Said Seymour. "That's nothing to do with me. The locator
display on this Wormhole gadget says we've landed in the heart of the
TransMed complex on New New New Zealand."
The Armadillo snorted and shuffled and fear replaced bitter
aggravation.
<end snip>
"I do think we perhaps should be RUNNING!" Seymour shouted as the
disgruntled armadillo charged them. Their small group split up into
different directions and the giant armadillo spun around, snorting
and stamping on the floor like a bull.
"I-I-I didn't s-s-sign up for this!" Said Lester.
"Me neither!" shouted the Queen. "Why didn't you dial the wormhole
for Earth, or any other of the million planets that are better than
here?"
Seymour leaped out of the way as the monster ran for him. "I'm sorry.
But I need you to help me get my daughter back."
The Queen shrugged. "Seymour. You're my favourite Ambassador...
really you are. But I just don't care enough to want to risky my-
DAMN!"
Seymour sidestepped another charge by the rampaging creature and
looked over to his Queen to see what was wrong.
"I've broken my bloody shoe! These are the cutting edge of next
year's fashion."
Seymour had bitten his lip for long enough. "Fine if you don't want
to help then that's fair enough. Here's your bloody wormhole remote.
Your majesty." he said her name bitterly and tossed the remote to
her. She fumbled with the device and dropped it on the ground. "That
was a rubbish throw Seymour. You throw like a girl!" The Queen said
angrily. As she bent to pick it up (which was hard as her dress was
quite tight around her legs) the Armadillo charged her and stomped
the device into the soft sand.
Dai pulled the Queen out of the way to avoid being crushed, but the
Wormhole remote was less fortunate. Sparks flew out of the exposed
wires and circuitry of the damaged device.
"I think that's out only way out gone, isn't it?" Said Dai.
Seymour looked around the arena. The walls were plain and sterile,
and went up to a glass balcony all the way around the circular arena.
Shadowed figures in the balcony hadn't moved since they had got here.
"Hey. Hello? Helloo?!" Seymour started waving to them. "Please, can
you see us? We're clearly not supposed to be in here with this raging
genetic crossbreed so perhaps you could let us out please?"
Some of the shadows seemed to lean closer as if talking, but then
they stopped and just watched.
"S-S-S-Seymour?"
"Yes Lester my dear chap?"
"L-L-L-Look at the ...monster. It's doing s-s-ssomething strange."
Seymour turned to look and it was true, the giant Armadillo had
stopped trying to charge at them. It was now just stomping it's foot,
and causing flaming energy to come out of the ground.
Seymour looked closer, it looked really strange, the creature was
concentrating hard, and the red energy seemed to be building up,
flowing freely out of it's feet and now wrapping around the animal.
Soon it was glowing a bright crimson red, as if the entire creature
was on fire.
There was something familiar about it, the patterns that were
swirling around the beast reminded Seymour of the wormhole they'd
just used to get here. Like crimson water flowing down a plughole in
a bath. Apart from now they were swirling around the armadillo.
The Queen grabbed Seymour by the bottom of his jacket. "It's not
going to explode or anything is it?"
Seymour shrugged. "I ... don't think so."
Then it disappeared. The creature was sucked into the wormhole of
it's own creation.
"That was jolly strange." Said Seymour, almost in shock.
They were alone in the circular arena. Dai the welsh engineer walked
forward to where the creature had been stood. The only thing telling
that a giant armadillo used to be there were the footprints and
slightly charred sand.
"I think it just made it's own wormho-" He didn't get a chance to
finish what he was saying because a flash of crimson swirling light
appeared right on top of him and deposited a two-tonne Armadillo on
his head.
The armadillo lay unmoving on top of the Welsh Engineer, crushing him
under the incredible weight. Seymour, Lester and the Queen could only
see a pair of legs sticking out, which kicked for a moment and then
stopped.
"Dai!" Said Seymour and Lester together.
The Armadillo however was in bad shape too. It's skin was blackened
and burnt, and it steamed as if it had been cooked.
"Where's it been?" Asked Brittany.
Seymour shrugged and walked forward to touch it.
"Don't touch that creature!" Came a shout from the far wall.
Everyone looked around to see several guards entering the arena
through a sliding door. They all had large tranquilliser rifles, the
ones for taking down elephants (or massive Armadillos). But instead
of pointing them at the Armadillo, they were pointing them at the
Humans.
Seymour immediately put his hands up, and encouraged Lester and
Brittany to do the same.
"I don't know who you are or why you're here but you're under
arrest." Said the Chief Security guard. He had a square jaw and a
thin moustache.
They grabbed Seymour roughly by the hands and handcuffed him. "What
happened to the Armadillo?" Seymour asked.
"It's classified scientific research." Was all the guard said.
"But where did it go? How did it get the burns?"
"Classified!" Said the guard.
They were marched into the building, down a corridor with doors all
labelled "Lab" and then a number. They were taken past some prison
cells with glass doors containing animals and humans, or some that
looked a cross between both. Seymour saw one who looked cross between
a human and a spider and instantly wondered if it was connected with
what had happened to Jed and Rosette.
They were shown into an empty cell, and the door was locked and
bolted behind them.
Seymour slammed his fist on the door. "You can't do this to us. I'm a
Royal Ambassador don't you know!"
"And I'm a Queen!" Called out Brittany.
"Oh yes, that's even better. She's a Queen!" Shouted Seymour.
"It's no good, they don't listen." Said a voice from the corner of
the cell. It was a man curled up, his hair seemed to be coming off in
patches and he had an armadillo's nose.
Seymour took one look at the bizarre crossbreed and slammed on the
door again. "Please can we get another cell, this one seems to have a
genetic freak in it."
"Ssh Seymour he might be able to tell us how to get out." Said
Brittany. She leaned closer to the man and spoke slowly and clearly
in case he couldn't understand. "How can we escape. I need to buy
some new shoes."
"They're doing experiments. Experiments on people." The man started.
"Okay yes, that's fine. I didn't ask for exposition. I asked where
the exit is."
"They want to get to another dimension. They call it the 'Karangeth
Dimension'. I'm not sure what is there, bit they want to get there
really bad. Did you see the Armadillo?"
The Queen nodded.
"It's their latest experiment. They've bred it to create it's own
wormholes to the Karangeth dimension. It's almost there... but it
can't create a stable wormhole.
Seymour pushed closer to the man. "Yes yes, forget that. I'm looking
for a baby. Have you seen a baby?"
The man looked up. His long ridiculous armadillo nose almost poked
Seymour in his. "They say they have a baby. A baby from the Karangeth
Dimension."
Seymour smacked his hands together. "Yes. That's her! That's my baby,
Alota Niples."
The man chuckled and his armadillo snout wobbled. "That baby is the
most important discovery that TransMed have made in the last fifty
years, and it's called 'Alota Niples?!"
Seymour grumbled. "Yes. She was named quite honourably after a good
woman who died in active duty..."
"They use her blood."
"What?! My poor baby!"
"Karangeths have the ability to return back to their own dimension.
But she's only half Karangeth. So they take her blood and mix her DNA
with other animals and aliens to see if they can control it."
Seymour stepped back and thought for a moment. Then his brow
furrowed. "Did they... did they mix her DNA with yours?"
"No of course not, I'm half Armadillo you goit! Unless your daughter
is an armadillo?"
"I certainly hope not!"
The Queen looked from Seymour to the armadillo man. "So. Back to the
first question. How do we get out?"
<tag J, how do we get out?! Also... is Dai really dead? Will we meet
any more monsters?>