The day after the night before

Who: Micky Pratt Bellhorn
Where: In bed
When: The day after Micky arrived
"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT!"
I jumped out of bed where I must have dozed off. Golden liquid was
steadily dripping from my miniature brewery on the countertop to the
floor. In my sleepy confusion I was still on board the Mario. I
went to wake my room mate and cracked my shins on the lower bunk.
"INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! ALL PERSONNELL TO REPORT TO THE
ARMOURY! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"
Dragging my non-regulatory jeans and t-shirt on, I stumbled towards
the door with red lights flashing and that dull voice shouting at
me. It was locked. "Door open!" I commanded. "Open!"
"WARNING! THE MINING SHIP BLUE DWARF HAS BEEN LOST TO AN UNKNOWN
ENEMY! TERMINATION OF ALL LIFEFORMS ON BOARD WILL COMMENCE
IMMEDIATELY!"
"What?!" I shouted back. "Computer! Unlock the door! I need to
get to the hanger for evacuation!" Fists pounding at the door, my
heart did the same to my ribcage. Oh god. The ship won't have time
to terminate me! I'm going to die of a heart attack right here and
now! "I don't want to die!"
"Oh, wait," came the computers voice in a remarkably calm tone, "it's
just ants." I couldn't help the loosening in my bladder. "Never
mind everyone. False alarm! Sorry!"
Sitting in my own piss, heart aching from the vigorous workout, I
shut my eyes and let the artificial gravity pull my head to the floor.
"I told him to do that to you." That small voice again. "Never mess
with a toaster! By the way, you just put your head in urine. Can I
order you a towel?"
I picked up the shoe I had tried to put on backwards just seconds
before and flung it at the toaster. "Hey! No need to get violent
buddy! Let me get you some toast to calm you down." Two charcoal
black pieces of toast popped up. The smoke set off the sprinklers
and I sat there letting the dirty re-cycled toilet water wash the wee
out of my hair.
"Alright dude?" The computer again, "name's Holly. Sorry about that,
science lab must have left the lid off one of the colonies." The
mirror disappeared to leave a balding, pixellated image of the ships
computer.
"I know you set me up. The toaster told me everything."
Holly turned to the toaster with a disappointed look on his
face. "Grass."
"I need a drink." Dragging myself up from the soaking floor, I hear
the drinks machine whoosh.
"One fresh orange juice, just what the doctor ordered!" He sounded
too camp to be a robot.
"I need something stronger. Something to calm my nerves. Leave the
juice though." I was still shaking. "Holly, how do I get to the
flight deck? I need to find out when I start my shift."
"That was four hours ago."
"Four hours?! Why didn't you wake me?!" I carried on pulling up my
soaking wet jeans and went looking for my projectile shoe.
"Well you didn't ask!"
"That's because I thought I was relying on a big mouthed kitchen
appliance! I didn't realise there was a giant bald-headed computer
to look after me!" Finding my missing shoe I ran out the now un-
locked door, taking a long deep mouthful from my hip flask as I ran.
That was the best thing about being a technician, you always knew how
to get hold of the potent stuff when you need it. Running toward the
elevators I called out "Who do I report to, Holly?"
"The flight cadet has your first assignment."
"And what's his name?"
"Jayne." I stopped and looked up.
"You pulling my leg?"
"Space Corp. Flight Cadet Jayne Chrysler. A trainee pilot. For some
reason you've been put under her command." I thought about that for
a while. I wondered what she looked like. Wondered how old she
was. Wondered if she liked a drink.
"Cool," and I ran off to my late appointment.
<Continued Soon>