'Oh look, blood!'

Where: Science bay corridors
When: 15 minutes of running around in circles later...
Who: Dysart, Rufus
"What the hell was that?!" Dysart yelled, his holographic head looking
over his shoulder while his mechanical one was already owling it at
359 degrees.
"Either it was a hymenopteran that *thinks* it's Jed Calvert or it's
just Jed Calvert." He seemed to be taking it rather well for a bloke
who just tossed a jar of acid-all into a giant spider's face.
"Well that's just- Leatherhead?!"
Remarkably, the said non-racially biased skin head was lying on the
floor before them in a tangled bloody mess. Despite the no-doubt
excruciating agony of having his chest torn open by a spidery alien
appendage he managed a broad if apologetic smile.
"I'm sorry Mr. Dysart... my balls just didn't carry me through this."
The sexually charged man admitted, weakly attempting to crawl to his feet.
"And this would be...?" Rufus mumbled, his face paling at the floor's
new colouring.
"A friend." The AI replied softly. "Leatherhead, where's Surly?"
The American weakly pointed down the corridor. "S-Surly lead him
off... screaming the frenchie national anthem... saved mah life."
The scientist's face warped in doubt and horror. "'Lead him off'? Are
you sure he didn't just-?"
Dysart quickly silenced the boy with a hard slap to the shoulder.
"Quiet you. Grab him by the legs, we're getting him to the medibay."
~~
Where: Outside the Medical bay
When: 5 minutes through an express lift
Who: Dysart, Keto, Rufus, Dante, Nikki... Jed?
'In future, please remember to wipe your feet!' The automated express
lift stated in a insufferably cheerful voice. An electric buzzing
noise accompanied them while the skutters just behind hooved up the
red liquid.
Between the two of them they barely managed to keep him off the
ground. Although the AI was literally made of iron his hydraulics
where only as strong as the things they were pinned onto.
"Goddammit Leatherhead, cut down the cheetos." The Australian muttered
in frustration while his feet daintily tapped their way down the corridor.
"Oh mah darlin... oh mah darlin...." Leatherhead sang horribly off
key, at least it was better than when he was crying about his mum. The
relationship did not sound entirely platonic.
"Can we put him down yet? My arms feel like they're going to fall
off!" Rufus, to his credit had managed to get past the 'oh my god
covered in blood' stage and was now right up there with his associate
complaining and imploring the likely-fatally wounded man to shut up.
"Oh please don't say that." Dysart whimpered, his own arms tangling
tautly.
Rufus' head pert up as he noticed the medibay inch closer. "Excuse me!
Please help, someone's hurt!"
"It'll be us if we don't get a stretcher soon." A light metal twang
went off in the robot's left arm. "Oh crap, there goes a hamstring."
His response was the prolonged heavy thumping of metal clad feet. The
veritable giant of security leisurely (for him) strolled around the
corner and eyed the three. A four kilogram (unloaded) alcoholic
mega-soaker rested in his arms, more than ready to douse them with
piss at any moment.
An obvious sigh of relief pushed itself out from Rufus' lungs. "Dante,
oh thank god. Could you please help?!"
"Oh mah darlin... CLEMEN~TIN!!!"
"Shut UP Leatherhead!!" Dysart yelled at the man, giving him a light
head butt.
"*Ow!* I'm a dyin' man... can't I sing a few sounds of home?"
Ever the voice of sanity for a super-sized power-armour clad super
warrior, Dante lifted a single calm hand. "This isn't a good time
guys. We've got an interrogation with a dangerous man going on inside
there. You'd best move on to the nurses quarters just down the hall."
Dysart holographic head turned to give Dante a single pert-eye browed
glace.
"Hey Keto! Got a dying man here! You ask me, you still owe me one!"
The AI shouted at the top of his lungs.
Seconds later Keto rushed out in a fresh lab coat, his arms soaked up
and down in soap. "Well, a good thing that you didn't!" The good
doctor cast a single glace at the dangling man. "Good god, first comes
the rampaging aliens then the rampagees. A truly vicious cycle. Yes,
yes, put him on the table and try not to get him in the alcohol puddle
on the floor. "
With a single snide comment Dysart pushed his way past Dante, leading
Rufus and Leatherhead to a nearby table. With long heave the two
scrawny ones mange to lift him up onto the table. Leatherhead let out
a prolonged painful groan. It was clear he'd just barely holding in a
blood curling scream. Within seconds Keto brushed past the Janitor
with proctology-worthy gloves crawling their ways down to his elbows.
"Rufus, be a good lad and get me ointment 24. It's going to be a long
night."
The Scientist gave him a single nod before he turned to his
acquaintance, offering him an apologetic smile. "Dysart I'll have to
ask you to leave, hygiene and all that."
"Indeed." Dante massive paw landed on the Robot's shoulder, causing a
high pitched squeak.
"-You do now Jed. And from now on you are relieved of ALL active duty
as I technically out rank you as a medical officer. Now as we say back
home in Middlesbrough, BELT UP"
"The hell...?" His holographic ear perted at the noise. His head
turned over his shoulder towards the noise.
"Dante, who was out there?" The undoubtedly feminine yet someone
distant voice called out once more from behind.
"...Just a man in need of medical attention, Nikki." Dante's low but
strong voice called back.
"Good, could you give me a hand over here? I'd rather not have a
repeat of last time." 'Nikki' replied
"You heard Keto; don't make me throw you out, tin man." Dante warned
sternly as he began to stroll back toward the jail cell. Although
Dysart didn't really comprehend it immediately, Dante's heat and
infrared sensors in his helmet had already noticed Dysart's lack of
fleshy parts as was the norm amongst the Blue Dwarf crew.
At the back of the medical bay, behind a single force field was a
darkened cell. Giving the appearance of squinting, his mechanical eyes
zoomed in on the scene, making out two figures. One was standing,
judging from the skirt and the shapely legs he thought that it was
safe to assume she was the woman who was talking before.
Then there was the guy sitting in the middle of some kind of spot
light... wait a minute. Why did they duck tape a torch onto a pole?
Why are they shining it in a half-naked man's eyes? Why were a nurse
and Dante, armed with a booze-filled supersoaker, standing just metres
away?
Although in his heart of hearts he knew he was taking this completely
out of context but dammed if it wasn't funny.
<Tagging...?>
OOC: Yeah... been a while for a mediocre post. Sorry about that.