Re: Efof + Dysart - \'Bad touch\'

Who: Efof and Andy... I mean Dysart!
Where: In a Hymenoptera fighter, Coleoptera class
When: After they launched
<snip>
Like an irate beast of burden the ship shuddered then slowly pulled
itself away from the hull of the grungy Blue Dwarf. Although broken
and bloodied the ship still managed to fly without issue towards the
grand hympenoptrean mother ship.
Had Dysart realised where it was taking them to he might have taken
his chances with the hard vacuum of space.
<end snip>
Efof and Dysart sat squashed in the cockpit of the ship. The
dashboard was made of a sticky gooey material, and so were the seats.
In fact there was no distinction between either.
"Aren't Hymenoptera ships alive?" Efof asked.
"That's what I've heard yes." Said Dysart. "You've had much more
experience of them than me, you should know!"
"I know but it just seems a little odd. I mean, how do you 'grow' a
ship? Does it get born like a person does, or does it come out of an
egg?"
Dysart shrugged, and Efof continued.
"And does it always stay the same size, or does it grow? Like those
motherships, did they start out at this size and just grow a bit
bigger over time, or were they made... I mean grown... separately?"
"Efof I really do not know."
"Efof clicked his fingers. "I remember! I saw some Hymenoptera making
a ship once. They made it out of vomit!"
Dysart shivered and adjusted in his seat. "Efof, I don't want to
think about that right now!"
"Well this one might not be made of vomit. I think that was a special
circumstance." Efof said. Then he stroked the dashboard and felt the
sticky gooey surface. "Although..."
"Please Efof!"
"Sorry Andy... I mean Dysart. But you used to be a cleaner, so surely
you'd be used to mopping up vomit and nasty things like the slimy
exploded remains of whatever creatures try to invade the Blue Dwarf."
"Yes but I never sat in it, or flew through space in it."
Efof grinned at that. "So how do we fly this thing? I heard there are
two types of Hymenoptera ships. One type uses smells to control it,
so to make it turn left you have to do a fort or something. And to go
right you have to do a burp."
"I think we're on autopilot. It will probably take us back to the big
mothership."
Efof nodded then stayed quiet. Until a few seconds later he said. "If
we're headed for the thorax how come we're heading straight for one
of the Blue Dwarf's?"
Dysart's eyes bulged. "You're right. Autopilot isn't working." He
tugged on the tendrils that had interfaced with him before they had
set off, hoping he could do the same thing to communicate with the
ship and give it directions. But the tendrils were lifeless.
"Efof?"
"Yeah?"
"I think this ship has died."
Efof looked at the dashboard, none of the eerie gooey lights were on
any more, and the screeching hum of life was gone. It was replaced by
silence. And cold. But the lack of life-support was the least of
their worries, as they crashed into the Blue Dwarf.
When two objects collide, science will dictate what happens to them.
If one is gooey, green and organic, and the other is big blue and
incredibly strong. Science says that the gooey green one will just go
splat. Luckily they didn't hit any of the strong green bits. They
smashed into a window.
Not many windows on the Blue Dwarf were big enough to fit a
Hymenoptera fighter through it, but one was the balcony view of
Seymour's Ambassadorial Apartment. The window was so large that the
Hymenopteran ship slid right through, and crashed straight into his
settee. Then his coffee table. Then his antique chest of drawers.
Then another coffee table. Then a 18th century wooden chair. Then
into a wine cabinet. Then into a dinner table. Then into the far wall
where they finally stopped.
Efof fell out of the destroyed Hymenoptera fighter. "Seymour is going
to kill us!" He said.
"Wait." Said Dysart. "Whose Blue Dwarf are we on?"
"Oh yeah good point." Said Efof. "This could be any of the Blue
Dwarfs, there is no way to check."
Efof pulled out a laser pistol that was clipped to his belt. He
wasn't going to take any chances.
"So lets take bets. What is special about this Blue Dwarf?" Efof
asked. "Maybe the crew are only 4 foot tall?"
"Or maybe they're made of cheese." Dysart guessed.
"Or maybe they've got feathers." Said Efof.
"Or maybe they age backwards." Said Dysart.
"Or maybe they are killer furniture!" Said Efof and ducked to the
floor and vaporised the settee to his left.
"What was that for?" Asked Dysart.
"I thought I saw it move." Said Efof. He stood up again and picked
something up from the coffee table. "Oh. It's actually our Blue
Dwarf!"
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I let Seymour borrow this copy of Gears of War 21" before he
left to go find out who kidnapped his baby. I don't know why, he
doesn't even have an Xbox!"
Dysart grinned and looked around, the normally immaculate
Ambassadorial Apartment had been devastated. "He's not going to be
happy when he comes back anyway."
<Tag Dysart! You said you wanted to get back to BD Prime>