Niples - "Is that Jennifer Bond?"

Who: Seymour
Where: Mollopod planet, outside the toilet
When: After Seymour's big rush to the toilet
<snip>
Justin smiled at her. "Wow you look great! Now lets go make Seymour
jealous."
Seymour straightened his tie as he saw them approaching.
"Hi Seymour I'd like to introduce you to-"
Seymour looked startled. The shock in his eyes made Justin stop
talking immediately. Seymour definitely recognised her.
"Have you two met before?" He asked.
</snip>
Seymour paused, the woman stood in front of him couldn't be who he
thought she was. Was she? Her hair colour was the same, if brighter
and healthier than he last saw it. Her facial features were the same,
although she was wearing a lot more make-up than the last time he saw
her, and she looked much more healthy. In fact she was quite a lot
more healthy as she wasn't in a coma anymore.
Seymour tentatively said her name.
"Jennifer?"
Justin Pancake looked confused. As far as he was concerned, his shape-
shifting friend Melchwimp had just transformed into a generic pretty
woman. What were the chances that Seymour would have seen her
before. "How do you two know each other?"
The attractive and now female Melchwimp turned back to look at him.
Luckily, he was as confuse as Justin was.
Seymour stepped closer. "Jennifer. Jennifer Bond. Don't you recognise
me." There was a look of confusion in the woman's eyes. "It's me,
Seymour. You've been in a coma for over a year!"
Still nothing. The woman he knew as Jennifer said nothing. Seymour
held her by the arms and shook her. "We had a baby. Baby Alota. You
must remember. Do you have amnesia?"
"I...uh... Can't remember ever having a baby..." she said.
"But you did. We did!" Seymour said, trying to convince her. "You
hated me for most of the time, and wouldn't let me see her."
"I can see why. Please stop shaking me!" She pushed Seymour away. "I
don't know who you are alright?"
"But Jennifer... "
"I am not this 'Jennifer' person."
"But you are. You look just like her. You were in a coma for a long
time, and then you were.... kidnapped."
"I don't think so."
"Yes, it was only last month. The Blue Dwarf was evacuated, so I
transferred you out of the care of the insufferable Dr Keto and
brought you to a better hospital on Titan. It had all the best
reviews."
"Um... great.. but-"
"And then you were kidnapped by these people. They gave me a virus
which made me grow all these little penisses all over my face."
Justin sniggered, but stopped when Seymour glared at him. "It was
horrific. I got better though."
Justin couldn't contain his laughter and started rolling around on
the floor. But Seymour continued. "They forced me to tell them where
Captain Calvert was, and now they've kidnapped him. Although good
riddance, I never liked that selfish drunk cowboy."
The attractive Melchwimp looked back at Justin with confusion. He
just shrugged.
"So how are you here? I thought they kidapped you too, but you're
here! Didn't you get kidnapped after all?"
Melchwimp shrugged. "No. I guess not!"
Seymour smiled, but then it soon changed to a frown as he was lost in
his own emotions. He put a hand on Melchwimp/Jenny's
shoulder. "They.... they took our daughter."
Justin was looking more than a little confused by now, he stepped
forward. "Look Mr Nipples... I don't know who you think this is, but
it's not who you think it is. It's a shapeshifter dude called
Melchwimp that I met earlier today. He's playing a joke on you which
wasn't really that funny when I thought it up, and definitely isn't
funny anymore."
Seymour shook his head. "No. I am certain this is Jennifer Bond. The
mother of my child Alota."
Melchwimp transformed into Justin, and then into Seymour. "See. I can
change to look like anyone I want. Sorry dude."
"This was.... a practical joke."
"Not a funny one I admit." Said Melchwimp. "I only did it so Justin
can give me some money for drugs."
Seymour fumed. "This isn't funny! Jenny really is missing. And so is
baby Alota, she was kidnapped by the 'Trans-Med' corporation because
they thought she was half alien or something."
"Trans-Med? That sounds like the spam you get to your email inbox. Do
they create drugs to enlarge your penis? ... or just ones that grow
all over your body?" Justin laughed.
Seymour had a thought. "Hold on. You said that you can transform into
anyone you have seen."
"Yeah, piece of piss."
"So if you can transform into Jennifer... you've seen her."
"Yeah probably."
"Have you seen Jennifer!"
Melchwimp shrugged "I meet a lot of girls. All I got to do is
transform into the hottest male film-star, walk into a bar and women
are all over me. It's ace." He turned around and Justin 'high-fived'
him. Seymour rolled his eyes.
"Did you see Jennifer or not?" Seymour wasn't a violent man, but he
felt like shaking this shapeshifter until he talked. But knew that he
would probably transform into a 10-foot tall monster and flick him
away. Seymour didn't want that kind of damage to his suit. He asked
again politely and Melchwimp submitted.
Melchwimp shrugged. "Yeah, last week. She was on a hover-bus heading
far north. I got off at the last stop and she stayed on. I
wondered 'how North does she wanna go?'"
"Was she with anyone?"
"This short dude with a long hooded robe. This hood was so big I
didn't even see his face. I assumed they had had an argument or were
brother and sister or something because they didn't speak the entire
time."
"Why didn't she speak?" Seymour asked.
"I don't know! I don't chat up girls on buses when they're with other
dudes!"
"Did it look like he was kidnapping her?"
"No... not really. She just looked like everyone else on the bus,
like she was going home."
"Going home!" Seymour shouted. "She told me she was from
Gloucestershire, not some planet inhabited by Mollopods!"
Justin inappropriately butted in at this moment. "Hey Seymour, what
if your girlfriend is actually a Mollopod in disguise!"
"What?"
"Would you be able to tell the difference?"
"What?"
"When you had sex with her, was she all slimy?"
"How dare you!"
"Does your baby have eyes on storks?"
"Right... that's it!" Seymour rolled his sleeves up and raised his
fists.
"What are you doing?" Justin said.
"Fisticuffs. It's an old honourable tradition."
Justin looked unsure. Seymour was weedy but looked confident that he
would defend his girlfriend's honour.
"Look mate, this is a bit silly. And you look like a tit, the way
you're holding your fists up like that. Nobody has fought like that
since Victorian times."
Seymour persisted. "Come on. Fists up!"
Justin sagged his shoulders and stepped up. In his first punch he
knocked Seymour to the floor.
Seymour lay there on the floor. "I hope you are going to contribute
to the dry-cleaning cost of this suit."