The purple headed soldier of doom!

I chased the damn dog that ran away with my detached penis down the
corridor. My life felt totally different, I wasn't fully a man
anymore. What was I? I wasn't a woman, I was a... a ... thing!
"Come back you twatting pooch, I want my third leg back!" the dog just
growled and I was scared that it might bite down on my member and do
it some serious damage. At least undamaged I might be able to take it
to Dr Keto and get him to sew it back on. I just imagined walking into
his hospital and flopping the poor thing on the table in front of him.
Or I might try the trick where you throw something and only tell them
to catch before it hits them, and then he'd catch it in his hand and
be embarrassed. That would be funny.
"Woof!" Said the dog. It had gone around a corner out of sight. I was
worried because the dog could only bark if it had either spat my spam
javelin out of its mouth, or swallowed it. I really hope it was the
first. As I went around the corner I saw something I had never seen
before. I had always imagined what would happen if my penis ever tried
to kill me – actually this was a lie. I had never imagined this.
"Woah!" I said and skidded to a halt. "What the fuck is happening
here?". The todger seemed to have swollen to about the size of a lion.
It wasnt fully erect, rather slumped over, staring at the dog with a
single jap's eye.
The dog yelped in fright and ran away, leaving me to face something
I'd dreamt of my entire life. A massive cock. But I never imagined
this massive cock would try to kill me. Somehow knowing it was my own
appendage I thought it wouldnt hurt me. But I was wrong.
"Here willy willy willy." I said calmly, and moved over to stroke it
(I thought something familiar might calm him down). But today was the
first day I'd ever known that it did not want to be stroked.
"Agh!" I screamed as it thrust at me and tried to bite me. I am not
sure which part of it was trying to bite me though, as it just bumped
into me and knocked me over.
I sprawled on the floor for a bit, the weight of my large sweaty
phallus pinning me down. It was like some horrendous dream. I was also
starting to consider that I hadn't been washing it as best as i should
have been because the smell was pretty bad. Suddenly I was saved!
A woman ran up to me and started pulling fine hairs from the base of
my attacker. The long thin beast screamed and rolled off me. It looked
so painful that tears welled up in my eyes. It was my penis afterall.
The woman raised some kind of ninja knives to the badboy and looked
like she was going to unleash all sorts of whoopass on it. I pulled
her back. "Please don't." I said. "That is my dingle."
"Your what?" she said. She was pretty but looked quite hard.
"My spam javelin, my crotch-cobra, my heat-seaking moisture missile."
She nodded as if she understood. Maybe this is normal on this ship.
"I'm Rosette." She said, holding out a hand to help me up.
"My name is Justin Pancake."
"Do you usually get your meat and veg out in public?"
"No. Not unless I'm wasted. But thats only the meat, my two veg are
still where they should be. It feels pretty strange... sort of...
unbalanced without the main item." There was no way she would
understand what I meant, so I did not press the issue. "Do you think I
need to go to the doctor?"
"This is happening all over the ship. You're not the first."
"So there are more of these things?"
"Yes" Said Rosette. "I've seen more schlongs today than in many years
of dating."
"That might just mean your a crap dater. Or a lesbian." I said,
hopefully not insulting this mean looking woman. She ignored it and
started tying my dismembered member up.
"Be careful." I said.
"You should be lucky I dont just shoot it." she said. I gulped.
"I am trying to stop the gas that is causing this. It is coming from
the ship that just crashed into us." She said. "If we cannot stop the
gas from being vented then we will have to suck it out into space."
"Good plan." I said, and followed her, leaving my purple-headed
soldier tied up on the floor.
TAG - Rosette do you want to continue?