Seymour - "Call from the Queen"

<snip>
Phil, standing and making his way to the bathroom(hoping he could slip
a fart out before anyone noticed)
"I will do..i will do..Just not today. Besides, i want the kids to
hear about it as well.. It concernce them."
"Well at least the beard has gone and you smell better..." , Seymour
sniffed. "I take that back"
"My bad"
<end snip>
-----------------------------------------
Who: Seymour Niples
When: After the meeting
Where: Seymour's Ambassadorial Apartment
Seymour trudged back to his apartment. As he entered he marvelled at
how well decorated it was, and how tastefully arranged the furniture
was. He knew that if he was taken away from the Blue Dwarf he would
have to start again with a brand new apartment.
"All that effort!" He said to himself. "All that planning!". He threw
his coat haphazardly onto the rare antique chest of drawers as if he
didn't care about keeping the place tidy anymore. "What's the point?"
He asked.
A beeping from the wall alerted him to the fact he had an incoming
video call. He flicked a switch and some oak wall-panels slid aside
superfluously. There was only one person who knew the number to call
him one his home video-wall.
"Your Majesty." He bowed, and continued looking at the floor for some
time.
"For crap's sake Seymour, stop bowing!" Said Queen Brittany. Her
heavily made-up face filling the entire screen. Only small glimpses of
Buckingham Palace could be seen in the background.
"To what do I owe this pleasure ma'am?" Seymour said.
"Well for a start you can tell me what the crap's going on?" Queen
Brittany said, her voice slightly distorted due to the chewing gum in
her cheek.
"Ma'am?"
"Well I've had all sorts of people coming to the Palace today asking
about my connection with you, apparent the Blue Dwarf has turned
renegade?"
"News travels fast." Said Seymour. He'd only just found out about the
current situation at the meeting an hour ago. "But I wouldn't exactly
say 'renegade' as such..."
"Well apparently you've sabotaged another JMC ship, refused a direct
order and buggered off somewhere in the galaxy so we can't find you."
"Well... okay there may be some slight truth in that. But it's all
over-exaggerated!"
"Is it?"
Seymour thought. "No, well it's quite accurately really."
"Well do something about it Seymour! I've got these Spacecorps men
tramping all over the Palace, accusing me of being in some kind of big
conspiracy. If they start looking into my tax records I'm doomed. "
Seymour threw his head back and sighed.
"Also it's making Mister Tiddles quite upset. He did a big poo on the
red carpet of the throne room earlier."
"I'm sure you can pay someone to look after your dogs ma'am."
"Dog? Mister Tiddles is my butler! I've never seen him so nervous!"
Seymour's eyes bulged. "Quite." He said.
Seymour became aware that as he had been talking to the Queen, Vanessa
had knocked and entered his apartment. She walked over and placed a
crying baby in his arms.
"This is the last time I'm looking after her Seymour!" She said
angrily, and left.
As Seymour stood holding the baby, the Queen's eyes melted on the
screen. "Oh Seymour you've been keeping something from me. When did
you have a baby?"
"I... well.... It was last year."
"And the mother?"
Seymour fidgeted awkwardly and placed the baby on the floor where she
sat upright and started smacking the ground with her stubby hand.
"Do you remember Jennifer Bond? She worked for you as a spy."
"You and Jenny? Oh that's soooo cute! So are you getting married?"
"No, she's in a coma."
Brittany's eyes flickered from Seymour to the baby and back again.
"She... you... you sick bastard!"
"No! She wasn't in the coma when we conceived! She was hit on the head
when the Skutters tried to take over the ship."
Queen Brittany nodded, then switched her focus back to the reason why
she called. "So whatever is going on on that ship, please don't let
the Captain do anything to make things worse."
Seymour rubbed the back of his neck nervously. "I... um... well
Captain Calvert is a law unto himself. I doubt I'll be of any
influence to him." Seymour waited for the Queen to say something else
but she was distracted by her pet Chiwawa.
"Listen ma'am... if the Blue Dwarf is re-staffed... what would happen
to me."
The Queen shrugged. "How do you mean?"
Seymour fidgeted nervously again. "I mean, would you be able to pull
strings for me to be assigned to a new ship?"
Brittany's eyes narrowed. "No. You've had your chance Seymour.
Besides, there's no fresh young Spacecorps Captains or Admirals I have
any influence over at the moment."
"You mean you've slept with them all?" Seymour said quietly, but not
quietly enough.
"That's treason!" The Queen shouted back. Then she paused and grinned.
"But very true!"
Her face disappeared and Seymour was left with baby Alota, who was
suddenly ill on his leopard skin rug.