Andy, Efof- And now, the Crescendo! Part 1

Who: Andy, Efof
Where: Andy's subconscious
<SNIP>
Andy looked around and then squeezed his eyes tight.
"What are you doing?" asked Efof.
Andy squeezed his eyes again, and tensed his entire body.
"Look, if you really need the loo, find one in your own mind." said Efof.
"I'm trying to wake myself up."
"Oh."
<END SNIP>
Andy squeezed his eyelids shut. His teeth clapped together and
continued to tense up. To be honest the cleaner didn't expect this to
work. But he had to do something anything to wake up. He didn't want
to waste time in this Armageddon wasteland, it was just time to get
out of here.
Although it was probably as effective as trying to will yourself to
sleep; don't laugh- you know you've tried to do it before.
"So… did you wake up yet?" Efof asked, waking two hands in front of
his face. "I…I can't." Andy groaned in embarrassment. "I think
something's stopping me… maybe if we both…"
Efof sighed and shrugged before he conceded to join. "Feel anything
yet?" Andy asked the tensed up Ffionian. "I'm feeling pretty stupid,
other than that. I've got nothing."
"C'mon… just wait…"
"…"
"…"
"… I can't do this Andy, this is just ridiculous!"
"Oh don't worry Andy, he can't help you." A surprisingly familiar
voice third voice joined in. "Who-?!" Efof began but was seemingly cut
off by an unknown force. "Like I said Andy, he won't help you. I'm the
one who's been keeping you in a coma until know. You're not weak
enough to be pulled under forever by a hobo!" The familiar voice
berated him calmly and happily. Andy kept his eyes clapped shut. "Who
is it Efof? Another one of those frosting-people?" "Ffionian!! I can't
believe that you've already forgotten!" Efof replied with irritably,
while making wild gestures. "And if you want to know who it is would
your just open your eyes?!"
Andy did as the alien suggested and wished he hadn't.
"Hello Andy!" The man stated in a sing-song tone. Before the two crew
members now suddenly stood an erratically dressed man.
For a moment simply assume for the moment that oddly dressed men often
times showed up in front of Andy, and that they also had a creepy
voice. What would set this particular man apart was that every time
that the cleaner blinked, looked away or so much as zoned out his
clothing would drastically change. How drastically? Three blinks ago
he was a lawyer, now he was mercenary/Hawaiian clown.
"… Who is this?" Efof hissed at the man beside him, never looking away
from the schizophrenically dressed man. "Hell if I know, Efof, I don't
exactly go surfing through my own mind every day." The cleaner replied
in a somewhat agitated voice.
"Wow Andy, you've changed so much since the time that I've last spoken
to you!" The man stated who was now dressed in a bra and tog. Efof
gave an alarmed stare at the cleaner who gave an enthusiastically
negative shake of his head. "Oh; who, might I ask, is your blue friend?"
"He's NOT my friend! He's somehow found his way into my mind and now
he's going to get me out of it. Right Efof?!" The cleaner growled
between clenched teeth. It was obvious to the Ffionian that the
cleaner was more desperate to get away from this guy (who might I add
was now wearing `I <3 Jack Thompson' shirt) then to actually get out
of a coma.
But it was only now that when the Ffionian gave a good long stare at
the third person's face that he realised why he sounded so familiar.
"… Well, like I said Andy, you aren't leaving until I say so. You have
to see one last thing before you go."
As though a switch was turned on in the cleaner's mind, he turned to
face the man. Now dressed in a dark black robe, the clean face of a 23
year old man looked back at Andy. Andy's head reeled back as beheld
the third, its face was his own. "…Boo!" the copy breathed lightly.
Nevertheless Andy let out a girlish scream and immediately hid behind
the multi-limbed alien.
"So… this weirdo… is you?" Efof stated in a puzzled voice. "From what
I understand it's impossible to have more than one avatar of yourself
in your mind. Unless of course…-." "-He's insane?" The second Andy
suggested (now only wearing a pair of brown underwear, a red cape and
a smile.) "I-I…I." The Cleaner blubbered pathetically behind Efof's
back. It was both oddly amusing and saddening to see the usually
sarcastic man torn down so.
"Okay, where is this place that you're meant to show us?" Efof asked
evenly while his lower arms were subtlety trying to pry Andy off his back.
The schizophrenically dressed man suddenly burst into smiles as his
clothes morphed into a snazzy pair of jeans pants. With a single,
half-naked gesture a deep black portal crackled into existence. "This
way; if you please, you don't need to come with us Red- but Andy does.
Its time he's faced up to his actions over the past few weeks."
"Red-?! My name isn't-!" Efof began but suddenly had his train of
thought disrupted as the cleaner slowly un-wrapped his shaking arms
from his torso. "It's okay… Red… I'll go alone. You stay here." Andy
stated with an uneven tone of voice. Efof flung his arms up in the
air, which was quite a feat.
"Great, now you're in on it as well! If you anything you should be
called me Blue, my skin is blue you know!"
Quick changing into a pair of bright pink overalls with a azure shirt
and a shot gun strapped over his back, the second Andy held out his
hand to the cleaner. "C'mon Andy, it's time to leave this place behind."
There was something in the apparition's voice that made the blue alien
simply snap; something sinister, hateful. Now he knew that he couldn't
leave Andy alone to deal with this.
Kicking up sand in a sprint, Efof moved so fast that he accidentally
tackled the cleaner as they strode into the black… and knocked the
second one reeling away.
The howling and screeching in the black was as back as sticking your
head into one of the ship's energy turbines… or listening a screaming
match between Brittany spears, Nicole Kidman and Lindsay Lohan at
quarter volume. Yet he could still hear the two Andy's voices with
perfect clarity.
Behind him the Alien's ears heard an infuriated bellow, like a stuck
pig, reverberate through the portal. Stealing a look back he beheld
Mr. Multi-dress red in the face, shaking his fist and dressed like a
Sailor Senshi.
"Red! What are you doing?!" Efof looked down at the cleaner with a
somewhat sheepish grin. "You might be able to leave people alone to
face this own demons… but I'm just not that kind of person. Don't you
think that you've been alone for a little too long?"
Andy blinked slowly as he stared up at the alien with a somewhat…
surprised look on his face. An extended quiet drew over the two as
they flew into the darkness. The crackling and snapping noise was
steadily getting lower and lower as they travelled onwards.
"Red…?" The Cleaner ventured.
"Yes, Andy?" Efof was loath to hear his new nickname, but didn't
interrupt him.
"…Thanks."
"…You're welcome."
However, before the moment was allowed to continue. A violent
shuddering that threatened to tear apart their monkey grip quaked
through the portal. "Whatever it is… we're close!" Andy stated he did
his best to hold onto the Ffionian. "Let's just hope that whatever it
is that it's better than that guy!" The multi-limbed humanoid stated
somewhat apprehensively.
"Heh… I don't think that'll be too hard!" Andy replied with a cheeky
grin.
Like a cosmic burp the Alien and the Cleaner where suddenly plucked
out of the black portal.
With an `eep' and a girly scream the two where thrown, skidding and
rolling, headway into a massive expanding white room.
A few seconds of groaning and whining later and Andy finally managed
to form sentences again. "Efof… you okay?" And affirmative groan
called back at the Cleaner.
When the Australian man opened his eyes he looked directly into the
ugliest face he'd ever had the misfortune of setting eyes on twice.
It was the first life he had ever taken.
"OI! You still alive, you ugly bastard?!" The vaguely feminine voice
asked. It was the shit-head GELF a yet un-named alien that he ever had
the misfortune of coming across. Last time he saw her, she was blown
to pieces by a bazookiod… in a bath room that was deemed unfit to be
inhabited by mankind.
Andy was pulled up the creature's giant meaty hand and he looked up
and out into the white expanses where he saw three other figures all
seated around a small white table. The Italian slug, "Gotta any-a
fours-a?" 042, one of his late Skutters (which shook its head, cards
pathetically clutched in its claws) and one last figure, an 11 year
old girl dressed in a red smock. "Go fish!" The girl declared in a
chirpy voice.
Efof shook his head and looked up at the odd… crowd of people that had
suddenly appeared. "Who are these people Andy? Do you know them or
something… is that a Mollopod?!"
The GELF pulled a face that made it even uglier than before. "Ah!
You'd think so… since he killed last one of us!"
<DUN… DUN… DUN… to be cont~inued>