Testing, Testing, Is This thing Shakespeare?

Who: Keto, Shakespeare
Where: Keto's Quarters
When: Around things
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<snip>
"PATIENCE, NOT PATIENTS!"
<end snip>
Shakespeare bowed in apology. "I'st be'th verily sorry myne liege."
He looked at the ground sheepishly and brushed his shoulder. "I still
hath to get'eth used to thy new surroundings."
Keto sighed and shook his head, ruminating thoughtfully. "We have to
find out what is wrong with your memory. It might be similar to what
happened to you a couple of years ago."
"Year'st of two?" asked Shakespeare.
"Why am I even trying to help this infernal menace?" growled Keto. "I
must be bored."
"Charles, Charles, I be'st a teensy bit fearful."
"PATIENTS, NOT PATIENCE," Shouted Keto, faltering after a few moments.
"Ahem. Did you just say that thing again?"
"Sayest what?"
"Nevermind," said Keto. "Look, we need to find a way of testing who
you are without using any kind of rampant insane technology. I
realise that being aboard a space vessel which runs primarily on said
technology makes this a little tough, so any suggestions?"
Shakespeare looked at the ground, then up at Keto. Then he looked
back down at the ground, before looking back up at Keto.
"Are you finished?" asked Keto, irritated.
"Myne ideas lacketh," admitted Shakespeare.
"A teensy bit fearful?" asked Keto, feeling out of place.
Shakespeare gave Keto a quizzical look, causing Keto to frown. "Let's
stay on subject. Somewhere on this ship is something we can use to
find out what's wrong here."
"Be'est thou ok Charles?"
"I think I'm hearing everything twice. Also what the hell do you mean
lacketh? Could you try and use normal English for just once, Shakepeare?"
Shakespeare shrugged. "This is't English, Charles. I nay understand
thy request'st."
"The Supply fields," said Charles, ignoring the bard. "Maybe there is
something there. If only we could get there with out running afoul of
the machines."
"Thy'st air ventilation tubes?"
Keto raised his eyebrows.
"My request?"
Shakespeare looked around the room.
"Request?" he said.
"LET'S JUST GO," fumed Keto.
Keto picked up his jacket and threw it on angrily. "Grab anything you
need and follow me." He stormed out of his quarters, Shakespeare
timidly in pursuit.
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