Captain Calvert - "Wanted: Mk10, dead or alive"

<snip>
Jed was cut off by the doors to the bridge being blasted in, and the
other half of the scutters and peewees not in the hangar came swarming
in, and instantly shot more than half of the lawyers stone dead.
The moment of happiness Jed felt was very soon extinguished when the
remaining lawyers started screaming like harpies about murder
occurring aboard his ship and that more lawsuits would come from their
families.
<end snip>
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Who: Captain Jed Calvert
Where: Drive Room
When: After the drive room shootout
The moment of quiet lasted approximately three seconds before the
remaining lawyers pulled out "red tape guns" and started shooting back
at the scutters. This wrapped the scutters up in a lot of literal red
tape, as well as faxing a court order to their manufacturers.
"Jeezus!" Yelled Jed and ducked under the desk. Jed was definitely not
one to shy away from a firefight, but he had just seen a scutter with
a bazukoid welded to it's head.
The scutter casually glided into the Drive room and was jolted back a
few metres as it fired it's first shot. The bodies of the lawyers were
catapulted around the room like rag dolls.
The Captain stood up quickly and assessed the damage. "Oi yo'
bastards! Yer ruinin' mah drive room!".
The scutter didn't seem the have the ability for speech recognition,
it merely rotated on the spot to aim at Jed, and fired.
Jed ducked and the explosion just caught his eyebrows. He stood up and
checked his face, it was dry, cracked and stubbly as usual but was now
a lot more tanned. He looked at the navigation computer which was now
just a hole in the ground. "Who is a-gonna pay fo' thet?". He wished
he could leave it up to someone else, but infortunately he was the
boss on this ship which meant that he had to deal with it.
Jed ran his hand down his face in annoyance, he hated responsibility.
He ducked another bazukoid blast and then popped up quickly with both
revolvers trained on the scutter. It exploded like a roman candle.
"Now t'clear this hyar godforsaken place up."
Jed then crawled over to one of the lawyers who was still alive but
unconscious. He took him by the shirt collar and shook him until he
was awake.
The clean-cut lawyer almost feinted when he woke up to see a scruffy
leather-faced man scowling at him.
"Hey… look… if you want some money, please take my wallet, just don't
hurt me okay." The lawyer said scared.
"Ah'm not muggin' yer! Ah's th' captain of this hyar ship an' ah's
makin' yer an honorary member of the crew. Your fust duty is t'fix
this hyar Drive room back t'how it was."
"You want me to do what? Surely you have people for that… cleaners?
Repair crew?"
Jed took out a pistol and put it to the man's skull. "Ah just have my
gun's here. It's surprising how versatile most of this hyar crew are
when they meet them!"
The man nodded frantically and agreed to do anything Jed asked.
Jed let him go and stood up. He walked into his office which was
adjacent to the Drive room and scooped a massive pile of paperwork off
the desk onto the floor. He perched on the edge of the desk and
scratched his head with the barrel of his pistol.
The deal with Mk10 and his army of robots was getting more than
annoying. Down in the flight deck they were causing a lot of damage
that would be expensive to repair. Jed knew that the Blue Dwarf's
budget was currently non-existent. Jed loved to spend money, but he
loved to spend it on booze and hookers rather than structural repair
or crew pay rises.
Jed was used to coercing his crew to do things for him, this normally
involved pointing guns at them. But he knew in this case he had to do
something better than make threats.
"I'll offer a prize fo' th' one who destroys mk10! Fry mah hide!" He
said and slapped his thigh. "Now all ah need is the bounty…"
Jed looked over to the petty cash drawer, which was empty. This was
normally topped up with money from Jeds dodgey on-the-side trading and
smuggling business, but lately he hadn't been operating anything
worthwhile. He meant to ask his smuggling partner Eddie if he wanted
to start up a few more runs, but Jed to be honest hated the sight of him.
He knew a cash prize wasn't an option, so started thinking about other
things he could give as a prize. He thought about the things that
mattered to him, a voucher for his favourite hooker perhaps? A ride on
his mechanical bull?
As deluded as Jed was, he knew that these things probably weren't good
enough for a bounty to be placed on someone's head. So he thought
about things that all the Blue Dwarf crew wanted.
"Booze!" He exclaimed. "I'll give them gorram' booze!"
Jed quickly snatched the desk microphone that connected all the ships
speakers.
"Howdy everybody this hyar is yer Captain speakin'. I'm offering as
much booze as you can handle for the man or woman who kills or
captures that stinkin' little varmit Mk10. I'll also pay yer fer a
kebab if you stop him before he wrecks any more of that expensive
flight deck!"
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