Rampant rabbits

<snip>
"aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" said
Mk.9, his entire internal circuitry fried by the nearby EMP blast.
Barf unplugged the terminal, and shut the lid quietly.
All the Halkons looked down sadly.
"...Any chance of another cup of tea?" asked Seymour trying to lighten
the mood.
Barf turned to see Seymour being viciously attacked by several hundred
fluffy white rabbits.
<end snip>
Who: Seymour, Barf and lots of rabbits
Where: Halkon
When: After the blast
Barf looked expectantly at the terminal he was holding. "So this
contains the entire memories, personality and knowledge of Mk9. it's
amazing to think that all that can be contained as gigabytes on a
hard-drive."
"He was a robot! It was already on a hard drive!" Said Seymour. "Now
lets get back to the Ffionian ship in orbit!"
"We can't… Dent was destroyed in the blast. We're stuck here! Plus,
everywhere outside will be thick with radiation for the next few years."
The rabbits were annoyed to hear this. In fact, they were so annoyed
that they dragged Barf and Seymour silently to a deeper part of the
warren. The narrow burrow opened out into a larger cave, with a small
shuttlecraft in the shape of a rabbit.
The rabbit beckoned them to go inside.
"You must be joking!" Said Seymour with a jaw hanging open. "I
wouldn't be seen dead in that thing – it looks like a funfair ride!"
"Don't you like the funfair?" asked Barf.
Seymour crossed his arms and scoffed. "Of course not. Do you like
Mongolian throat-opera?"
Barf shrugged. "I don't think so."
"Well then we're settled."
"What? Just lets get in the rabbit, it's probably our only way off
this rock."
Seymour bitched and moaned for a few more moments until Barf gave up
and went inside alone. Seymour soon stopped whinging and followed him.
The craft's `ears' started to flap in a ridiculous manor and the
entire thing seemed to lift slowly off the ground.
Just before the door closed, one bunny leaned in and mimed a few
things to Barf. Seymour was too preoccupied with crossing his arms and
making "harrumph" sounds.
All bunnies in the area quickly put on radiation suits as a trapdoor
opened above them, exposing them to lethal radiation. The flapping
bunny sailed up through it on apparent autopilot, with Barf waving to
the bunnies, and Seymour looking suitably embarrassed.
"So what did he tell you?" Seymour asked.
"I'm not sure… I think he wanted me to know that he'll give us 10
minutes, then they were firing their own nukes at the ships in orbit."
"Great, that's just great." Said Seymour. "There's dozens of Blue
Dwarf crew on those ships, we have to warn them. Let alone all those
Ffionian plonkers, who I assume it's up to us to try and save too."
Barf nodded. "I don't really blame them, they're only retaliating."
"Yes, but that's not exactly helping our situation is it? Thousands of
rampaging rabbits!!"
"Can we call them `rampant rabbits'?"
"For the love of god WHY?"
"It sounds funnier?"
There was a moment of silence as Seymour looked around inside the
metal bunny. "Do we know how to fly this ridiculous contraption?"
"No."
"Can it even get us into orbit?"
Barf shrugged.
"Can we use it to contact Jay or anyone?"
Barf shrugged.
Seymour sighed. "Okay, I'll ring him. But I don't see why I should be
using my credit – I'm claiming this on expenses!"
Seymour pulled out his phone to ring Jay, but before he got chance it
started to ring. The called id brought up a picture of Phil, taken as
he was being attacked by a brain-sucking alien. Ah those were fun times.
"Mr Febuggure, I don't have time for idle chitchat, I need to speak to
jay immediately-"
"Seymour, this is Jay. Something bad's happened."
"Yes Jay I know. I almost got sautéed by the nuclear holocaust you
sent towards us! Thank you greatly for that!"
"That wasn't my fault Seymour, Fferna's taken over, she locked me and
Phil in prison, and ordered the nuclear attack while everyone thought
I was still in control. She's mad!"
"Mad or not, tell her that if she doesn't get those ships out of here
soon, the Halkons are launching a counter-attack in 10minutes."
"Bloody Halkons!" Said Jay.
"No, the Halkons are quite nice actually. The Halkons you saw were
holograms projected by the Ffionians to make us hate them. The real
Halkon are cute bunnies that make an absolutely splendid tea. In fact,
if they weren't' threatening us with nuclear aggression I'd go back
and pick up a few bags."
"Sod the Ffionians, I'm tempted to leave them to it. We need to
contact the Blue Dwarf to come and pick us up." Said Jay.
"I thought it couldn't get here, that's why we had to come through all
that `rectal corridor' nonsense?"
"It was risky, but not impossible. If we can get a message to Captain
Calvert he could wormhole-drive the `Dwarf into the system, pick us
up, and be out again in a few minutes. "
"That sounds like a good plan." Said Seymour. "I want to get back to
my apartment, I have a feeling I left my iron on…"
"I'll round up the Blue Dwarf crew." Said Jay. "Can you contact
Captain Jed for me? It's quite difficult for me at the moment."
"What? I'm flying in a robotic bunny right now. It's difficult for me
too!" Said Seymour.
"Be resourceful!" Said Jay, and hung up.
Seymour tried to call the Blue Dwarf, but got a blank dial tone.
"Damn you! Damn you all to hell! And you!" he pointed at Barf, who
looked upset.
"Jay wants us to contact the Blue Dwarf, but they're out of range."
"I was thinking…" said Barf, ignoring Seymour. "We have Dent's
personality on file too. I think we can plug him into this ship, he'll
be able to drive it for us."
Barf plugged the terminal into the ship. After a few moments, a
switchboard of lights lit up and a robotic Australian voice came out
of the small speakers around them.
"I feel funny?" said the omnipresent voice of Mk9.
"Oh sorry…" Barf said, "I've loaded the wrong AI!"
"What happened?" Asked Mk9.
Seymour bit his lip and spoke nervously into the ship's microphone.
"Well…. You died. But it was a great help!"
"Oh I'm glad to have been of service!" Mk9 said sarcastically. "So
where am I now? I can't feel my legs."
"You're… in a large robot bunny." Said Seymour. "Now listen, I need
you to help us contact the Blue Dwarf…"
<Tag Barf or Mk9, find a way (complicated or not) to contact the Blue
Dwarf and get it to come get us!>