A warm (and jiggly) welcome

Who: Mk.9, Efof, Fferna, Rika, Barf, and many topless Ffionian women.
Where: The Rectal Corridor.
When: Whilst en route to the Halkon Colon.
<snip>
The man gave Rika one last look before sending them both to the
shuttle; Rika had seen it before, it said "I might have to keep an eye
on you".
Within the next thirty minutes Barf and Rika found themselves on a
shuttle headed for this new ship....
<end snip>
"Have you got any idea what this ship is like?" asked Barf
"Pfft, not a damn clue." said Rika
The tiny shuttle raced through the opening of the corridor, and
eventually came up upon the Ffionian ship the pair had been assigned to.
"What the hell?! It looks like a joke!" yelled Rika, who had expected
some sleek, silver battle cruiser.
"I'm sure it has some perks." said Barf, activating the docking computer.
The hatchway to the airlock hissed open, and they both emerged to find
the ship surprisingly deserted. They followed the large arrows painted
on the floor with 'Bridge' written on them, hoping to find ANY forms
of life. The door they finally came to was large and impressive, and
from behind it could be heard lots of giggling and a single
happy-sounding male voice. It opened in a way that boggled the mind,
to reveal a kiddie pool that had now been filled with custard, and had
3 Ffionian girls fighting it out. The rest were either occupied in a
game of Twister, hanging off of Mk.9 (sorta wondering what to do), or
some were even piloting.
"Somebody pinch me." said Barf, prompting Mk.9 to swivel around in his
chair. This knocked back several of the girls near him, most of whom
fell into the pool of custard, before joining in the fight.
"Aha, you must be the new staff I ordered. I've already gone over both
your records. Rika, if you'll just remove your top, you can take
command of the security console. As for you Barf, make yourself at home."
"Yes sir! Right away, sir!" Barf called, standing to attention.
At the same time, Rika said "Fuck no."
Mk.9 glared at her for a second, as best he could with only one eye.
"Er...sir?" she said
"Better, now why can I hear footsteps coming towards the bridge very
fast?"
Efof sprinted into the room, covering his eyes as he did so hoping to
avoid the gaze of the 4-breasted women. All this really accomplished
however, was him knocking over both Barf and Rika, and then
subsequently falling into the custard.
"Mk.9! You'll never believe this!"
<tag Onion>