Efof + Captain Jed - "Drive Room Capers"

Who: Efof Yuwan'Kar
Where: Drive Room
When: Now
Efof leaned back on his chair almost too far and almost fell
backwards. He righted himself and yawned.
He looked around the empty drive room. For some reason or another,
just about everyone had called in sick today, so he was the only one
working. And the Captain of course. But he wasn't so much of a
Captain, more of the raving trigger-happy lunatic that gave everyone
orders at gunpoint.
As he was the only Drive Room crew working, he had pulled all the
computers around to his desk, and he operated several at once. He was
in charge of navigation, sensors, communications and defense all at
the same time. He clicked away on four keyboards at once with his four
arms. He would claim that with his four arms it was really efficient,
but unfortunately he only had one head and kept forgetting what he was
doing on each computer.
Efof had of course kept himself amused when the Captain wasn't around
but using the ship's internal loudspeaker for bogus calls. And had
sent a secret encoded memo to random crewmembers making out that
there's an invasion of alien shapeshifters aboard disguised as empty
crisp packets and that they should hide whenever they see one.
Maybe that's why nobody had come to relieve him of his shift for the
past several hours. He looked at his watch on his second left wrist,
then realised his watch was actually on his second RIGHT wrist. He'd
been on shift for almost 10 hours, no wonder he was tired.
"Um… Captain sir… can I…"
"No get back to work, yer doin' a fine job keepin' this boat in
apple-pie order youn-un, don't let me down now!"
Snapped the Captain back.
Efof was never sure if Jed was having a joke, he seemed like a
friendly enough guy… but he always carried two loaded pistols around
with him, and with that manic look in his eye Efof really didn't want
to take any chances.
He groaned and went back to typing away at his computers.
A burning question gnawed away at him inside. Efof wasn't normally the
type of person to make suggestions, or normally ever detect that there
was anything wrong with the universe. He normally just smiled and
whistled, and got on with his jolly little life in a relatively
easy-going fashion. But he felt right now that he needed to ask this
question, even though he was scared that Jed would take it the wrong way.
Jed had a way of taking everything the wrong way. Earlier Efof brought
him a glass of water (at Jed's gun-pointing demand of course) and had
left a pink straw in it. Jed took one look at the straw and Efof
cringed to hear the click of Jed cocking his pistol.
"You think I'm a little girl that need's a straw pardner? Eh? Do I
look disabled like ah'd been stomped on by a rampaging bull eh?"
Efof had gulped and immediately removed the straw.
But now (much later) Efof wanted to ask the question that was burning
in his mind.
He turned around. "Captain, do you think that we…"
Jed stomped over to him and Efof cringed.
Jed placed an old whiskey bottle in Efofs hand. "Hold that up!" He
demanded. "Ah think ah need some target practise, I feel like my
god-darned aim's all gone askew."
Efof gulped and took the whiskey bottle. He held it high. "…I think
that perhaps we need more Drive-Room crew."
Jed ignored him and aimed his pistol at the whiskey bottle. He screwed
up one eye on his dirty stubbled and gnarled face.
"..I think that if we had more crew…" Efof continued. "…that I'd be
able to have more breaks. And it would be a lot better if each
computer was operated by a whole person… I mean, its just silly with
only me. What if we were under attack? I can't control the ships
turrets AND perform evasive manoeuvres."
He paused to hear Jed's response. Jed however didn't appear to be
listening. "Put it on your head."
Efof put the bottle on his head and Jed squinted at it. He spat on the
floor as he did so.
For an alien who's most private parts were on his forehead, Efof had
been far too keen to place the target on his head. But that was Efof,
naïve and far too easily influenced.
"…A-a-also should you be shooting that around in a place where there's
only plexi-glass between us and outer space?" Efof pointed to the window.
The whiskey bottle above his nads exploded and almost vapourised. Efof
almost feinted.
"Good idea pardner. Yer absolutely right."
It was at that moment that MK9 trudged into the Drive Room to give the
Captain a message.
"Hey you!" Yelled Jed. "You have a new job. Get to work on that computer!"
"Aww!" Mk9 complained, "This better not be a high pressure job!"
"Nah" said Efof. "You get to shoot the BD's turrets, we need a new
Chief Defence officer."
"Cooooool!" Said Mk9. "Can I start with blowing up that small moon
over there?"
Efof scanned the planet. "I'm detecting primitive plant and animal life."
Captain Calvert shrugged. "Meh, why not." He nodded.
< OOC - i've promoted Mk9 to chief defence officer to take Jack
Febbuggure's old job, he's now in charge of the BD's weapons, eep! >