Matt Lister the Red Dwarfer pt 3:Dinner disaster

Who:Matt,a chef and HG.5
Where:A kitchen on Red Dwarf
When:After last post
Matt entered the kitchen he had been sent to after passing the chef's
exam.He took a uniform hanging up on a coat hook and put it on.He had
put HG in his quarters and switched him off.He was looking at an oven
when a chef came into the kitchen."You there."He said to Matt in a
french accent."We make a chocolate souffle for ze capitan."Matt got a
cook book and started searching for a chocolate souffle recipe."Here
it is."Matt said when he found it."Now get ze ingredients you
fool."He commanded."Yes sir."Matt sighed.He got the ingredients and
brought them over to the table but tripped and the ingredients landed
with a splat on the chef's head."Bugger."Matt whispered.Matt got a
mop and cleared away the mess then went back to the cupboard but it
there was no more ingredients for a souffle.The chef came back and
saw this too."What are we going to?"he asked."We can use some other
things,no one will know."Matt told him."But what will we use?"the
chef asked."Obvious,"Matt said."things that look like the actual
ingredients."
"Okay butter."said the chef.Matt thought for a while."Cheese."
He went to the fridge and got some cheese."Now some flour."he said
looking at the recipe book."Ah,I know."the chef said.He went over to
a closet and came back with hundreds of daisys."Flowers,"Matt said
flatly."Okay."
The chef put the daisys in a blender and shreded them.He then poured
them into the bowl with the cheese."Milk now."Matt said."We have
milk."he said."Eggs,"said the chef."We have eggs."
"What dont we have?"Matt asked."Vannila,sugar and chocolate."replied
the chef."Matt got some salt and ice-cream from the cupboard and
fridge and put some in the bowl."Just chocolate left,"Matt said."Wait
here."he walked out of the kitchen and about 10 minutetes later he
came back with a brown substance in a bowl."Is that..."the chef
stammered."Yes,mud."
"Oh thank god for that."he sighed.Matt put the mud in the bowl and
the chef prepeared it.He put it in the oven and when it was done he
took it out and went through to the room with the captain's table.He
came back a few seconds later with a smile on his face but it soon
dropped as sounds of disgust and vomiting screeched across the
room."Gastone!"an angry voice roared."Run!"Matt shouted.They both
sped out of the room.Matt removed his chef coat and ran back to his
bunkroom.He picked up HG and ran for the hanger.He showed pilot
clearance to a guard and jumped into a starbug.He reactivated
HG."Whats going on?"he asked."We're taking our holiday now HG."Matt
said."Where to?"HG asked."A black hole."Matt shouted.He blasted out
of the hanger and sped away from Red Dwarf."Are we ever going back
there?"HG asked."We will go back,"Matt told him."In a few years."
The End