French Tauntings

Who:Matt,HG and a French marine
Where:Blue Dwarf
When:Shortly after the french anounced a weapons inspection
<SNIP>
Captain Calvert walked down to the flight deck and stood on a rail
overlooking the french ships landing.He hated the french and wanted
to pick a fight with every single one of them,but he also wanted to
get rid of them as soon as possible.So he hoped to hell nobody on the
Blue Dwarf would mess it up and make them stick around longer.
<END SNIP>
Matt ran around his quarters in a frenzy of panic and worry.HG asked
him what was wrong."I might still have some bombs in the Blue Midget
from The Encounter,"Matt wimpered."Unless I get rid of them we are
dead!"Matt and HG rushed down to the haner where the french were
getting out of thier ships."Oh,bugger."Matt said as he ran to the
Blue Midget,but a french marine stepped in front of the door."Excuse
me I need to get into this ship."Matt said."I'm sorry monsiuer but
your not allowed into any craft durring ze inspection."the french man
told him.Matt started to sweat a bit."But I left something in the
cockpit and..."Matt started but the french man interupted."And it
doezent mattuer what you left in ze cockpit you smelly smeller of
horse dung."Matt flinched a bit then said to the man."Look I just
want to get in to get my..uh..my...spanner!"Matt blurted out then
laughed at himself for how stupid that excuse was."I dont care if you
want to get your long lost brother,you're not getting in you electric
donkey bottom biter,go and empty your bowels on top of your stinky
puss filled,bogey powered robot."The marine shouted rudely.HG.5 had
his cannon ready and was about to shoot the marine but Matt dragged
it back behind some boxes."HG,we dont have to resort to
violence."Matt told it."I have a plan."
The man was still standing in front of the door to the blue midget
when Matt and HG.5 came back.Matt started to talk to the french
person while HG rolled into the blue midget."If you dont let me in
I'll knock you over and go in myself."Matt said boldly."You couldnt
get in there you piece of cow pat."the marine said."I will just you
wait.."Matt started but got cut off by the french marine again."I
dont want to talk to you no more you silly english pigdog,I blow my
nose at you,you wiper of other people's bottoms."He shouted."Go and
boil your bottom under a silly person,your mother was a pitbull and
your father smelt of mulberries!"Matt wasnt listening to the french
man's ridiculous tauntings he was watching HG come out of the Blue
Midget."Dont worry,there are no weapons in the blue midget."HG
whispered in it's system of bleeps.Matt looked back to the french
marine who was still yammering away."Oh your right I could never get
past you,"Matt said sarcasticly."(you stupid bastard.)"And with that
he walked away.
Matt and HG strolled happily back into his quarters."What a srtange
person."Matt said to himself as he lay down on his bunk."I'm just
glad there were no weapons in the Blue Midget."He
continued."Er...year."HG stuttered."What did you do?"Matt asked
angrily."Well,There was some amunition in the ship so I put it in my
cannon."HG said shakily."As long as they dont know about it its
fine."Matt told himself.He jumped down from his bunk and started walk
over to the other side of the room then jumped on HG and tried to get
the ammo out of it's cannon shouting"Give me it,give it!!!!!!".