Matt Lister joins Blue Dwarf pt 2

Who:Matt Lister,Jed Calvert,HG.5 and Peter Marwood
Where:Blue Midget and Blue Dwarf
When:3 Days after Matt got the Blue Dwarf message
Matt was almost asleep at the control console in the Blue Midget.
HG came in to give Matt his coffee and in a series of bleeps it
said "Come on Matt,You've been awake for 3 days,just go to sleep."
(All of HG's sentances are in bleeps it cant speak english)Matt
looked sleepily at it and yawned.A horrible smelling gas came out of
his mouth.This caused one of HG's circuits to
explode."When was the last time you cleaned your teeth?" it
asked."About a month." he replied "Oh come on it couldnt be that bad
could it? Matt nearly shouted.He breated again and the rubber plant
in the corner of the room burnt to a stump.Matt looked at the plant
then looked at HG."I'll erm...go and clean me teeth then,you keep
traking the message." he said to HG,then walked out.Two hours later
he came back in with another plant."Okay I ate all the tic tacs,drank
all the mouth wash and used all the toothpaste,how does me breath
smell?"He breathed and the tips of the rubber plant burnt.HG cocked
it's head at him."Gettin there." it said."Look,there it is!"HG
continued.Matt looked out of the window and there was an identical
version of Red Dwarf exept it was blue and it had the words Blue
Dwarf on it's side."This is Blue Midget pilot
Matt Lister.The crew of my ship died and I found your message,I need
help."An image of a man with a cowboy hat on spoke."What do you
want?"he asked"I just told you.Who are you?"Matt asked."I'll tell you
when you'ved landed."The man said
Matt landed and was greeted by a man with brown hair and ray-ban
sunglasses."Hello,I'm Peter Marwood.I'll show you to the captain's
office."After a short ride in and ex-press lift Matt and Peter were
talking to the captain."Hello I'm captain Jed Calvert."he
said"Now.What do you want?"Matt said"Well,I was on a ship and..." btu
he was cut off by Jed"I didnt ask for your life story all I asked
was 'what do you want?'"Matt sighed"Bloody hell.Look I want to join
the crew to look for Red Dwarf because my cousin was on it and I'm
worried about him.""Okay we'll give you a one day trial you can
assist Peter there,now get lost."replied Jed.Peter and Matt walked
out and Matt asked"Is he always like that?""Oh no,he's actually quite
nice once you get to
know him,anyway lets go."Peter replied."Just so I know what what are
we gonna be doing and what should we wear,armour?"Peter turned around
and calmly said"We're going to attack a heavily armed alien fortress
guarded by an auto turret grid,a magma shield,thousands of
fighters,molten lava fountains and guards with flamethrowers" Matt
cringed then said"So what,Shorts and sun block?
To be concluded...