Fanboy? I think not!
Who: Crew on the 'Fools Gold'
Where: ...ON the 'Fools Gold'
When: With this much time travel, how the hell should I know?
<snip>
"I don't suppose we left somebody on that ship did we?" asked Harris.
The ship came closer and used its large scorpion claws to clamp down
on the Fools Gold. Gripping it securely in space.
"I guess notÂ…" Callum mumbled. Assuming it must have now been re-taken
by their insect enemies.
Mk7 turned around. "Any ideas guys?"
<end snip>
Everybody standing behind Jed, particularly the remains of his crew,
pointed at him, and mouthed suggestions involving his death/humiliation.
"Ah, Mr. Jed sir! Surely a cowboy such as yourself would be well
suited to finding a way out of this predicament we appear to be in."
said Mk.7, with a very large, admiring, fanboy grin on his face.
Without losing this acial expression, he went on to say "And will
someone smegging well help me out here?!"
Everyone seemed a bit puzzled. Mk.7 sighed and tried to explain.
"Look, at some point, part of my personality circuit must have been
damaged, and reverted to my default scutter settings. Specifically,
that of loving westerns. I do not MIND westerns in particular, but I
HATE JOHN WANE!"
Efof stepped forward and scratchd his chin thoughtfully, before
realising he had no idea how to help in this matter.
"Look, Callum, you should know. You do it the same way you fix any
kind of machinery" said Mk.7
Callum strutted over to Mk.7, glad to have his expertise put to good
use. he then proceded to kick Mk.7, causing him to fly through the
air, and smack against the opposite wall.
"Ah, thankyou!"
"Uh, guys?" asked Peter
"I don't think there should be claws piercing the hull of the ship"
Everyone looked up, and sure enough, the pincers of the Scorpion were
begining to come through, causing some air to escape.
Mk.7 lept back over to the controls and hooked himself in.
Everyone else but Jed grabbed their weapons and opened fire on th
parts of claw protrudng from the roof
Jed came to kneel down by Mk.7, who was pushing the engines to the
limit in an attempt to break free.
"Well lil' bud, it looks lke this is it." said Jed, before leaning in
to whisper
"But I think we both share a passion that may prove very useful. I can
tell by you're accent that you're an Australian, an' I can bet even
Austalian droids share the immortal weakness."
Mk.7 began to catch on. A panel slid open on his side, and inside was
a 5 litre can of Fosters.
"Well, I was afraid to part with it since the Earth blew up but I
guess I can part with it now" said Mk.7, slightly dejectd all the same.
Jed grabbed the huge can, still slightly puzzled as to how it could
have possibly fitted inside Mk.7, and ran up to the munitions deck,
where he sprayed the can all over the ammunition stores. He spoke into
a nearby microphone.
"Alrighty lil' buddy, she's good to go" said Jed
"YEEEHAAAAAW!" yelled Mk.7, and activated the 'Fools Gold's' weapons,
the beer-soaked rounds penetrating the hull and causing severe damage
to the scorpion.
Eventually, the power to the pincers was low enough for the 'Fools
Gold' to break free.
The crew desperatly dashed to seal up the holes in the hull, while
Mk.7 pondered which Blue Dwarf is the right one. It was then that he
remembered.
"OH SMEG! I left the 'Suicidal Insanity' on the scorpion!" yelled Mk.7
"The what?" asked Jed, pulling a cigar out of his pocket, and offering
some more around.
"My fighter! Ok, it looks more like a loo with guns and missiles stuck
to it, but it works!"
He then lept up through the largest of the holes in the hull, just as
the scorpion exploded from the severe internal damage.
As he floated in deep space, Mk.7 watched the shockwave very
carefully. At last he saw it. The 'Suicidal Insanity' was being
propelled by the cascading shockwave, and heading straight for him.
Mk.7 quickly jetted his way as to be parfectly aligned with it, and
had his back facing it. All of a sudden, he felt it hit him from
behind, and he was knocked back into the seat, before setting the
thrusters to maximum power, just in time to get out of the minumum
safe distance.
He moved in to escort the 'Fools Gold', which clearly still had no
idea as to which Blue Dwarf to go to. And even worse, they had
completely forotten about the large Hymanopterran fleet coming
straight for them.
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