Jed Calvert - "Death awaits a lonely bushwacker"

<snip>
"Sarcastic plumb-crazy bastard!" Cursed Jed in his Southern American
drawl as the shell sent his ship into a tumble, causing smoke and
radiation to leak out into his cabin.
He coughed and wheezed as the radiation burned through his body,
causing permanent damage.
"This isn't quite the hootenanny I expected." Jed choked before he
passed out.
A Blue Midget fighting the Space Corps fired a grappling hook out to
Jed's ship as it passed, and towed it into the Blue Dwarf's nearest
landing bay.
<end snip>
Who: Jed Calvert, Dr Keto
Where: Blue Dwarf's Medibay
When: During the fight with the Space Corps ship
The ship lurched from an explosion hitting the outer hull and the
bottles of ointment in the well stocked medibay rattled.
Deputy Chief Medical Officer Tara stumbled and dropped some surgical
scalpels and needles to the floor.
"Careful Tara, you almost inoculated my foot!" Said Keto.
"I didn't mean to!" Shot back Tara. "It's these bloody explosions!"
Keto walked over to his rough-and-ready looking patient who was laid
out cold on a bio-bed still wearing his cowboy hat and a gun in his
holster.
Keto gave him an injection of pain killer and asked Tara to remove his
pistol and hat. "We don't want him waking up and start shooting-"
Just as he said it there was a blur of movement. Tara had just been
about to take his cowboy hat off when Jed reached for his gun and
immediately pointed it straight at her throat.
"No you don't little lady. The hat stays on."
Keto stood with his arms folder and his usual `non-impressed' face.
"Didn't I say take his pistol first, THEN his hat?"
"I wouldn't have thought it mattered!"
Jed sat up slightly with a wince of pain. "It makes all the difference
to the fastest draw in the western spiral arm. That'd be me by the
way, Jed Calvert's the name." He said proudly and span on the floor
with a `pitooey' sound.
"Do you mind, I had that floor cleaned this morning!" Said Dr Keto.
"Well if you'll excuse me I'll be on my way." Jed got up and then fell
back down again in pain.
"No you wont." Said Tara. "You've had too much exposure to a radiation
leak in your ship, you're suffering major cell decay."
"I get tooth decay all the time, it don't mean nuthin'!" said Jed.
"No I'm not talking tooth decay. I'm talking massive cellular decay.
Your body has taken too much radiation damage…"
"She means you're going to die." Keto butted in. "Within the next 2 days."
Tara shot Keto a nasty look. "I was getting to that, and you could
have a little more tact!"
"Tact! He spat tobacco on my nice clean floor. I want him out of here!"
"You and me both doc." Jed said, and got up. It took enormous effort
to stand, but Jed did it without giving Tara the satisfaction of
helping him, as he was far too proud and stubborn a man to accept help.
Just before he walked out of the door he turned. "If I'm gonna die,
I'm doing it with me boots on. Doc, where's the nearest whorehouse?"
Dr Keto shrivelled up his nose in disgust. "This is a Spaceship, we
don't have one!"
"Really?" Said Jed in disgust, scratching his head from the outside of
his dirty hat.
There was a long awkward moment that passed between them as the
question hung in the air.
"Alright, Deck 49." Keto admitted.
Jed grinned. "I knew it. It better be a clean one, if I'm gonna die I
should at least have the privilege of going to a clean whorehouse
before I die."
"Oh. Then you better make it Deck 48."
"Good on `ya Doc!" Jed grinned and left the medibay leaving Keto
avoiding Tara's accusing gaze.
<To be continued...>