Efof - "Medical Marvel" pt 2

<snip>
The doctor just smiled. "I'm curious why your species has your
genitalia on your heads. This long end is going down inside your
penis." He made the small pincer on the end open and close.
Efof gulped, and then screamed.
<end snip>
Who: Efof Yuwan'Kar
Where: The medical centre of the Space Corps ship
When: Minutes after the last post with Efof in
"Eyyawweeee!" Efof yelped in pain as the unethical but curious Space
Corps surgeon probed the inside of Efof's manhood… or Ffionhood.
"Nurse! Give the specimen more painkillers!" Said the Surgeon, growing
tired of Efof's screams.
"Yes, yes please do, for the love of your human God give me more
painkillers! And for the love of my nineteen Ffionian Gods and their
respective Nineteen Nineteen year old wives!"
The nurse injected the painkiller directly into his genitals.
"Owwweeeeee!" Yelped Efof. "And I really expected that to help!"
"I'm sorry, but remember you're the first alien that I've ever
studied, I really don't know how your body reacts to these stimuli."
"Then easy solution, DON'T DO IT!" Said Efof, still in his usual
pretty good-humoured way, which showed a huge amount of self control,
despite the gruelling tests the surgeon was performing on him.
The doctor removed the probe and reached for a clipboard to jog down
some results. "Very interesting…" he mused.
Efof fidgeted. "Not for me it wasn't! but I'll tell you what, let me
see how interesting it is if I stick that thing in you eh?" An empty
threat of course, as Efof was still tied to the operating table, and
with his squeaky voice and under-built stature he didn't seem in any
way threatening.
"Uh doc…" said Efof after a few moments. The surgeon didn't look up
from his clipboard for quite some time. "…Something I think you should
know. That painkiller you injected me with is having a strange effect…"
The surgeon still didnt look up from his notes.
"…I'm really sorry for what I'm about to do. I think it might be
lowering the tone, but I can't help it… I mean… I haven't been to the
toilet in a long time now…"
The surgeon looked up, but at possibly the wrong moment. A full jet of
Ffionian urine hit him in the face. Efof looked ashamed and embarrassed.
"I really couldn't help it!" he said.
"AH MY EYES, ITS IN MY EYES…AND MY MOUTH!!! Horrible alien liquid!
Nurse nurse, quickly! It might burn me – And I might get some terrible
alien infection!!"
"Probably not, but you might want to brush your teeth and think about
not kissing your wife tonight." Said Efof.
But the distraction came at just the right time, although Efof didn't
know it. Jay Chrysler and Tara Cleavage-Febuggure were waiting
outside, and rushed in to Efof's defence. Jay judo-chopped the medical
staff while Tara pushed a nurse over a medical trolley and pushed a
cloth of chloroform in his face until he passed out.
"Battle of the nurses, I like it!" Said Efof as Jay untied him. Efof
got up and realised his chest was still slit open. A few intestines
partially slid out and he embarrassedly shoved them back in and laid
down again.
"Uh… think one of you could stitch me back up?"
Jay looked shocked. He had a strong stomach for this kind of thing but
was disgusted that anyone could do such a thing. "Efof, doesn't that
hurt?"
"They've got me drugged up pretty well. Can't feel a thing. I can see
furry turquoise monsters out of the corners of my eyes though."
Tara took a look. "The butcherers!" she said in shock. As the Deputy
medical officer on Blue Dwarf, she wasted no time in grabbing a laser
skin-grafter and healed the cut back up.
After she was done, she and Jay helped Efof up to a standing position.
"Normally I'd recommend not moving after this kind of surgery, but we
need to get out of here."
"Oh yeah." Said Efof looking at Jay. "So here's something I don't get.
We came here to stop this ship from getting to the Blue Dwarf and
capturing you… " he paused as Jay looked at him. "…but in the end YOU
end up voluntarily coming here, to the one place you really shouldn't
be right now, risking being caught and everything, and save us!"
Jay looked at him plainly and none too amused. "Funny old world isn't it."
Before they dragged Efof out of the Space Corps medical centre, Efof
protested and went back for something. He came back with something in
a clear plastic bag full of water, or some other type of liquid.
"Won a goldfish at the fair whilst you've been here?" Jay joked.
"No… its some organ they cut out of me. I want to keep it in case it's
useful!"
<tag!>