Jed Calvert - "Space Cattle Herding"

Who: Jed Calvert
Where: Back on the Dessert planet
When: Not too long after the last Jed post
Captain Jed Calvert was the hardest man in a dress. He had accepted a
small job to pay for passage off the desserted planet that he had been
abandoned on by his crew for smuggling moonshine during the Earth crisis.
"Let it never be said that riding a horse whilst wearing a dirty pink
frock is comfortable, and in no way dangerous to yer manhood!" Jed
said. "Yessiree I was talking to you beasts, yeehaw!"
From his horse he whipped the bizarre cow/insect creatures that he was
herding. Jed had grown up on a small ranch, so herding animals wasn't
that new to him. But he'd never before hereded anthing so freaky
looking. These things had massive cowlike bodies, but several
caterpillar type legs. Each one was about twice the size of a normal
cow. He assumed they were some kind of genetic crossbreeds, and had
been told to deliver them to a lab on the other side of the planet.
he'd been told they got travel sickness very easily so couldnt be
transferred by ship, only on foot. Which meant that he had to deal
with the hot dry dessert again. Although now with a hat on his head he
wasnt suffering so much from the burning sun. The only problem now was
the horse underneath him crushing his knackers.
The journey was going uneventful, he had to whip the bizarre creatures
a few times to keep them all moving together and on track, and he was
reaching the half-way mark when a noise in the sky caused him to look
up. It was a ship, he couldn't make out the shape because of the
bright sun glaring off it's hull but it was vagually disc shaped. it
got closer to him and his herd, and hovered overhead.
The insect/cow crossbreeds didnt like the noise and started to trample
each other in confusion, and some scattered off into the distance.
"Oi get away with ya!" he yelled at the ship. "You're scaring my herd
you yellow bellied saddle bums!"
Then the ship started firing on his herd. not torpedoes or large
cannon blasts, just small bursts of concentrated gunfire hitting each
animal with a little tag that transported it into the ship's cargo hold.
"What kind of bushwack is this?!" he said angrily. Unfortunately he
wasn't armed in any way, the only object that he'd manage to get from
the orbiting spacestation was a slightly dented tin of baked beans for
his long journey.
He didnt want to part with his only meal, but angrily threw it up at
the spaceship. It was hovering so low that the tin hit the craft in
what must have been an exhaust pipe where it rattled around until a
terrible grating came from the engine.
"Beans bean, good for the heart. The more you eat the more you - "
The engine blew out and the ship fell to the ground.
"My! Them's some good beans!"
He jumped onto the small craft, opened a hatch and pulled out the
pilot. It was a small wimpy looking man in a black cowboy hat who
protested until Calvert smacked him in the mouth. he then picked him
up by the shirt and yelled. "Who do you work for? Why are you
attacking my herd?"
The man spat out some blood. "You know how much these will cost if we
sell them for food? Theres a lot of refugees from Earth without any
kind of food. People have escaped death by seconds, but are still
dying of hunger and thirst!"
"Oh so your on a humanitarian mission eh?"
"What kind of fool do you take me for! I'm in it for profit of course!
I'll sell them on at a higher price!"
Calvert grinned. "Now thats something I can sympathise with, so i
won't kill you afterall. But... I'm going to punch you because I didnt
think of it first!"
Jed knocked him out and tied him to a ruined leg of the spaceship.
Jed poked his head inside a cockpit and made sure there was no active
distress signal being transmitted. He preferred to make his own way
off the planet rather than let anyone come to rescue him, he was proud
and stubborn like that. Plus, he didnt want to take the chance that
the pilots cronies were around, or he was working for a larger
dangerous gang.
Jed pressed a few buttons in the ship's cockpit. The ship's engine had
failed and would take a few hours to repair. But something didnt quite
add up for Jed. The man was shooting the cows with transporter tags to
beam back into his ship, but the ship was far too small to carry much
cargo except for the pilot.
Curiously, he slid open a door into the rear hold. And laughed.
The transporter compressed the animals in the hold to make more space.
It was efficient, and made the cow/insect things look a lot more cute.
He pulled one out, it was the size of a teddy bear.
"Genius! I can put the entire herd in here and make an absolute
fortune!" said Jed.
He set to fixing the spaceship.
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< To be continued - please no-one continue this post, I have a
developing story for Jed before he meets any of the BD crew! >