Niples "Queen Brittany Departs"

Who: Seymour Niples
Where: Le Royale Niples
When: After the away team left
Seymour Niples - Royal Ambassador and Owner of the Blue Dwarf's most
pretentious restaurant "Le Royale Niples" glanced in frustration over
his accounts. The restaurant was loosingmoney. he was loosing money.
He was loosing custom, and he was loosing food supplies.
All his food supplies, his fresh crab, lobster, swordfish and other
delicacies he served like quail, phesant and dodo (which had become
popular again due to cloning tehnology) were getting extremely low. In
fact he'd had to take most things off the menu apart from dodo - and
thats only because the live dodo's he had purchased to breed seemed to
be some specially genetically engineered to breed like crazy, and had
now infested most of deck 79.
He'd sent the head chef Pierre to go and hunt a few dodo's. Maybe they
could colour them pink too and try to sell it as lobster, but Seymour
wasn't hopeful. He actually wasn't so hopeful that Pierre would even
come back, as the last of Seymour's money was starting to run out, and
he knew Pierre could sense it. Seymour had had to sack most of the
rest of the restaurant staff, and hoped that Efof would come back soon
- the gullible and niave alien could always be forced to do some work
for him.
Then, the Queen walked into the empty restaurant.
"Hello?" She called.
Seymour rushed out of the kitchen and knealt before her. "M'lady." he
said smarmily. "And what can your most humbled Ambassador do for you
today?"
"Alright Seymour get your tongue from out of my ass and get off the
floor." Queen Brittany said crudely. Seymour shook his head he really
wished that Brittany would at least act like a proper lady some of the
time, as most of the time she just sounded like a foul-mouthed chav.
Seymours tongue was of course not literally in Queen Brittany's ass,
so he gave her a quizzed look. "Ma'am?"
"You know what I mean! You're just brown-nosing me so that i'll let
you have some money to save your failing restaurant!"
"Well actually... is it that obvious ma'am? I mean the restarant is
not exactly failing as such... its just... with the destruction of
Earth and everything... times are hard."
"Not failing as such?! Seymour - there's no bugger here! I'd say its
pretty much fallen flat on its face!"
Seymour looked around at the empty seats. "Alright. Things are not
going very well at all. But maybe a cash injection... or perhaps an
endorsement by the Queen of England herself?"
The Queen ignored him.
"Seymour I'm leaving."
"What?"
"Well I never really expected to be here so long. I can't be seen on
this rusty old ship for ever. As much as I love this place for its
quirkyness, I get a bit bored here. theres no other rich people to
talk to. Nobody else here is... on my level..."
"You mean you've ran out of rich young men to bed?" Seymour said
cheekily. The Queen could really have taken offense to Seymour's
pidgeon-holing, but knew that he knew her too well.
"Exactly! Theres not many round here... actually, theres none. All I
can really expect is a bit of rough, but that gets so old so fast."
Seymour rolled his eyes. "But where will you go? You palace on New
Ibiza is gone... New Ibiza is gone! Buckingham palace is gone...
England is gone!"
"I think i'll be well recieved on the reputable colony of Epsilon
Buckingham Spa II. They know how to treat VIP's such as myself. I have
a small cottage there... well I say small, its actually got 14 spare
bedrooms."
"Take me with you." Seymour blurted, before his mind properly thought
it through.
Brittany grinned but shook her hWho: Seymour Niplesead. She them
playfully ran her hand over his face. "No, no Seymour. I need you here
to be my Ambassador. You know how the Blue Dwarf always manages to get
into the thick of the action and excitement in the galaxy. I still
want to be a part of it, whilst actually being safely very far away."
With that the Queen turned on her heel and left. Half an hour later a
Royal escort arrived for her.
Seymour stood in the observatory deck watching through the large
transparent dome as the Queen's sleek and expensive looking ship
slowly moved away from the Blue Dwarf. Fully painted in Union Jack
colours, the ship was curvy and sexy, whilst also looking a bit
playful and dangerous. Just like the Queen really. Flanked on all
sides were smaller ships, for her Royal guards. Decorated like the
beefeater soldiers that guarded the Tower of London.
Seymour couldnt help but grin. This was the most tradition he had ever
seen displayed by Queen Brittany. Sure she might be a headstrong
spoilt brat, but she sure travelled in style.